Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 3 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Try Not To Drop The Soap

RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" Raoul? So nice of you to join us! Though I could barely hear that shriek of delight. What gives? "I do apologize!" Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon uncharacteristically murmurs, his voice so low I must strain to capture the words. "I was going to offer an appropriate interjection earlier, but I'm suffering from the most beastly case of laryngitis at the moment!" See? I warned you. "You did indeed! It's all my fault, but I couldn't help it! Shoving a morbidly obese movie producer into a wind machine?! It doesn't get any better than that!" Well, it's a good thing, then, that this episode is entirely devoid of the gore you love so much. You just relax in your overstuffed armchair, have some honey-lemon tea, and keep that charming little flannel heating pad of yours wrapped around that throat, okay? I'll take care of everything. "Thanks!" rasps Raoul. "You're a doll!"

Now, where were we? Oh, yes: Fade up on the darkly lit nighttime interior of The Arkansas Museum Of Anthropology as a set of shrill strings saws tensely away on the soundtrack. The camera pans down from a list of the current exhibitions as the strings settle themselves a tiny bit, and a card informs us it's now "Three Months Later." At the far end of the hall, Our Intrepid Heroes force their way into the building through one of the emergency exits, and with much flashlight-fu, they make their way towards the camera as Darling Sammy bitches, "I hate this plan, Dean." "Yeah," El Deano acknowledges, "I got that the first ten times I heard it." As the boys continue on their way, they unknowingly trip a motion sensor at the base of one of the walls. Soon enough, they're breaking into a couple of display cases to retrieve a tomahawk and what seems to be an ancient fish knife. What? Like I know from Mesoamerican artifacts. Leave me alone. Just then, their ears prick up at an unexpected sound coming from elsewhere in the building, and after shooting each other A Look Fraught With Significance, Sam and Dean race from the exhibition room to power their collective way towards the exit. Unfortunately for them, they round the final corner to get a couple of facefuls of flashlights and guns from the suddenly appearing security staff, one of whom bellows, "Freeze!" They start to backtrack, only to find that path blocked by security as well, so they take off down another hallway, only to find another cadre of guards waiting for them at the end. The boys, realizing they've been cornered, follow the guards' shouted instructions and sink to their knees with their hands on their heads. Go figure that the only time they've ever gotten caught, they're actually wearing gloves. As members of the security team force their hands behind their backs to cuff them, El Deano bizarrely wiggles his eyebrows and grins at Darling Sammy. Darling Sam's bitchface is epic. Hee.

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