Supernatural

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Demian: C+ | 4 USERS: A
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The Hardy Boys Get Snuggly, Hugly, Mean and Ugly

The next morning, Dean and Castiel arrive at the Kennebec County Sheriff's Office, and now even the goddamned location card must be counted amongst the LYING LIARS WHO LIE on this show, for it's claiming we're in Waterville, when everyone knows the Kennebec County Sheriff's Office is in Augusta. God! Our Dear Boy and His Dear Angel disembark from the Impala, with My Sweet Baboo expositing, "A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the angel," and you would think he'd have found some time to impart that rather vital piece of information during the eight and a half hours they just spent on the road, but whatever, because we've some wacky angelic hijinks to attend to. "So, what's the plan?" Dean asks. "We'll tell the officer he witnessed An Angel Of The Lord," Castiel earnestly replies, resolute in his faith, "then the officer will tell us where the angel is." "You're gonna walk in there and tell him the truth?" Dean buhs. "Why not?" Castiel squints. "Because we're humans," Dean emphasizes, "and when humans want something really, really bad, they lie." By the way, while he'd thus been explaining some of the finer points of earthly social interaction, Dean shoved a fake ID into Castiel's jacket pocket, and then buttoned My Sweet Baboo's collar before straightening the angel's perpetually messy tie. Adorable!

Once indoors, Dean tracks down "Deputy Framingham" and introduces himself and Castiel as Alonzo Mosley and Eddie Moscone of the FBI. There follows a bit of business that's far more amusing than it has any right to be, in which Castiel first misses his cue to whip out the fake FBI badge Dean so thoughtfully provided him, then obliviously displays it upside-down. Deputy Framingham, perhaps off his game due to recent events about which we'll learn shortly, just shrugs off the slapstick and invites the very special agents into his office, where he then offers his sorry tale of a "disturbance" "out at the Pump 'N' Go on Route 4" that involved 30 or 40 people going at each other in "kill-or-be-killed combat." "Any idea what set them off?" Dean wonders. "It's angels and demons," My Sweet Baboo nods, trying to be helpful. "They're skirmishing all over the globe." Deputy Framingham goes all, "Whaaaaa?" for a moment, but Dean somehow manages to smooth-talk his way past the angelic conversational gaffe, and asks the deputy to continue with his story. "What happened next?" "Freakin' explosion, that's what," Framingham replies, still not believing what he saw. "They said it was one of those underground gas tanks, but it wasn't your usual fireball." "Pure white," Castiel interjects, knowing. "Yeah," the deputy agrees, surprised. "The gas station was leveled, everyone was... it was just horrible." "And why were we not witness to that!?" shrieks Raoul, and how many times do I have to tell you this, Raoul? Budget. As in, "The Kripkeeper does not have the budget to blow up 40 extras on the screen!" "Well, I am sorry, I'm sure!" Raoul shrieks again, not in the least bit sorry, as I'm sure you can imagine. "But it's been at least 45 minutes since this dreadful episode began, and what have we to show for it?! Hmmmm!?" Well, there was that vampire blood on Dea... "NOTHING! [Sob!]" Oh, for...look, I'm sure a flagon or six will ease your sense of betrayal, so why don't you... "Capital idea!" Excellent.

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Supernatural

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