Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 4 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Get Snuggly, Hugly, Mean and Ugly

...Waterville's thriving red-light district, where Dashing El Deano and an absolutely terrified Castiel occupy a booth in a garishly decorated brothel bar. "This is a den of iniquity!" Castiel shudders. Dean, of course, is all, "And your point is... what, exactly?" Alas, My Sweet Baboo does not cry, "I'm in love with you, you fool!" and flee his sordid surroundings immediately, so we're forced to watch as Dean pushes My Sweet Baboo into some harlot's arms and, naturally, mere seconds pass before the harlot's horrified screams erupt from the closet into which she'd dragged him to complete their transaction. "Screw you!" she shrills, hurling a shoe or something at Castiel's chest as Dean and the other whores come running. "And screw you, too!" she howls into Dean's face before tottering on out of there atop her luxurious Lucite heels. "What the hell did you do to her?" Dean more-or-less hisses. "I don't know," Castiel shrugs, genuinely puzzled. "I just looked her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault her father Gene ran off -- it was because he hated his job at the post office." Dean rolls his eyes. "This whole industry runs on absent fathers! It's the natural order!" And, Dean? Honeybunch? Sugar britches? Asshole? If that's true, then why aren't you whoring your tantalizing derriere, too? Arrrlalaahhahalgah. ANY-way, security arrives, and this asinine scene finally comes to an end when Dean hustles Castiel out the fire exit and down to the Impala, where he doubles over with a fit of the giggles. And after he's recovered, he assures Castiel he hasn't laughed like that in years. Glad one of us found it amusing, douchebag.

Subplot Of Suck. Lascivious Lindsay dines with The Ginormotron who, of course, is never seen actually ingesting food, despite the fact that a 15-foot-tall freak of genetic nature such as himself would need to consume at least 10,000 calories a day just to maintain the muscle mass required to haul that enormous frame of his from one place to another. Long story short, she's in recovery, and thus can mystically sense the presence of Sam's ridiculous addiction storyline from last season, and after endless amounts of blathering, she concludes her little Buck Up!-style motivational speechification with this gem: "No one has ever done anything so bad that they can't be forgiven." Unfortunately, Sam does not retort, "Oh, yeah? Well, I started The Apocalypse! WILDCARD, BITCHES! YEEEEE-HAAA!" and we head into the second commercial break of the evening once again most woefully CHOMP!-less.

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Supernatural

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