Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Move Over, Buffy...

Sam has returned to whatever motel room the boys are staying in, which was probably their fallback plan were they separated, and if that's the case, I'm inordinately pleased to see that he followed it instead of doing something stupid. He's got mattresses up against the windows, or at least they're supposed to be, but it really doesn't look like they would even slow down anyone determined to get in. More likely Gordon would be like, "Mattresses in front of the windows? Looks like a Winchester special." Anyway, El Deano enters (way to cover the door, Sam, they'd never think to use that) and breezily says he stopped for a slice, at which I'd be annoyed if his never-sated appetite weren't so much of a character on the show that it's getting residuals. Sam starts to chew Dean out for Playing Fast And Loose With His Much-Abbreviated Life, but thankfully, they quickly turn the topic to how Gordon found them, and it only takes Dean a second before he breathes, "That bitch." He makes a call...

...and then Bela picks up and candidly tells him that Gordon paid her for their location. She's typically irritating to the nth degree, and Dean eventually tells her that should they deal with Gordon successfully, the first thing he's going to do is kill her. Bela's smile fades: "You're not serious." He's serious, Sam's serious, Demian's serious, I'm serious, and failing all that, Raoul's going to forego Thanksgiving turkey in favor of flying after you and incinerating your car. Dean breathes that he most certainly is serious, and when he hangs up, Bela looks like she's feeling the stirrings of genuine fear. Maybe the accent will be its first casualty.

In what will prove to be the vampire's lair, Gordon regains consciousness to find himself tied securely to a bed frame. He looks around and sees two woozy-looking blondes with their wrists shackled to the ceiling, which snaps him to full attention. The male vamp appears and languidly feeds the blondes some blood as he explains that while he knows they're uncomfortable, the hunger will soon pass, and they'll feel much better. He then observes that Gordon's awake, and tells him that the girls are his family. Gordon asks about their restraints, and he replies, "We're still getting to know each other." I could take that in a number of different directions. I hope I'm not surprising you when I say that none of them are good. Gordon reinterprets the vamp's words, saying that he grabbed some innocent girls off the street and made them monsters like him, but the vamp tells him he did what he had to, as his kind is a dying breed. Also, unfortunately for Gordon, his reputation has preceded him as "one of the greatest living vampire hunters." The two of them then have a tiresome, if short, discussion about the relative bloodthirstiness of vamps and humans, and we thoroughly covered the Vampires Are People Too angle with Lenore, as I said, so we'll move ahead to the part where the vamp says that since Gordon has killed so many of his kind, it's fitting that he'll be lunch for his new daughters. Gordon then gives the vamp some lengthy, ill-advised lip about his low opinion of vampires, the result of which is that the vamp turns to the girls: "Sorry. Change of plan." Is the appropriate reaction here a Butt-Head-like laugh? If it isn't, can it be? Well, regardless, the vamp pulls out a knife, cuts Gordon's and then his own arm, and puts the two wounds together as Gordon screams. Huh huh huh! Huh huh! Huh huh huh huh!

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