Supernatural
Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1559 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Gotta Have a Friend in Jesus

"May I borrow it?" Castiel politely inquires. "No!" Dean immediately barks by way of response. Heh. Castiel, however, unleashes the full power of those enormous baby blues of his in Dean's direction and asks again, so Dean has little choice but to hand the thing over, but not without first issuing a gruff warning not to lose it. "Great," he grumps, once the amulet's in his angelic boyfriend's possession. "Now I feel naked." "Not nearly as naked as we'd like you to be, you darling little boy!" Raoul titters, wiggling his eyebrows around in a manner aiming for saucy but bordering on lewd, and Raoul, it behooves me to point out that we'll never get to your violence if you keep interrupting me like that. "Oh, I do apologize most sincerely, I'm sure!" Raoul shrieks. "But I couldn't help myself!" Eh, I was thinking the same thing, so don't worry about it. "Okay!" Now, where was I? Oh, yes: With amulet in hand, Castiel assures the others he'll be in touch, and in a blink, he's vanished, leaving Bobby to shout at the ceiling, "When you find God, tell Him to send legs!" Hee.

Meanwhile, somewhere far away, that Rufus person from that one of those interminable Bela-heavy episodes way back during Season Three squeezes off a couple of rounds, and the image goes all Saving Private Ryan-style desaturated and hand-held and jittery as Rufus bends to drag a frantic and injured teenager behind an SUV for cover from whomever's firing back on them. The kid's got a massive gunshot wound on his upper right thigh and... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" shrieks Raoul, writhing about upon his overstuffed armchair with delight now that we've finally reached the exciting portion of this evening's festivities, and oh, it only gets better from here, my scaly friend. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" Yep, much to the kid's audible agony, Rufus strips off his belt and fashions it into a makeshift tourniquet, which he then proceeds to tighten to the point where his unfortunate charge is seconds away from passing out due to the pain. "VIOLENCE!" shrieks Raoul, thumping his tail against the carpeting in avid approval of this development. "WANTON ACTS OF MEDICALLY APPROVED VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" While the kid collapses back into the gravel, Rufus whips out his mobile and dials Bobby's number. "Dammit, can you hear me?" Rufus shouts above the crackle of suspicious-sounding electrical interference once Bobby's answered his phone. Bobby can, just barely, so Rufus continues, "I'm up to my ass in demons -- whole damn town's infested!" "Where are you?" Bobby shouts into his cell, and Rufus's response somehow manages to break through the static: "River Pass, Colorado." At that moment, two demonically enhanced rednecks emerge from behind the church across the street to stalk their way over to Rufus's hiding place, and a burst of gunfire erupts from Bobby's receiver right before the line goes dead. DUN!

Supernatural

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