Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 7 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Mock The World Turtle

Deep within the ruins, The Rent-A-Cop continues to make his way down the hall until he at last finds himself standing next to a large, shattered mirror. A large, shattered mirror that, with a few pops and cracks, begins repairing itself right in front of his eyes! DUN! Some more! Freaked, as well he should be, The Rent-A-Cop spins around to flee, only to find himself...face-to-face with a sinister-looking desk clerk! Dun-dun-DUN! "B-B-Buddy, you can't be here!" The Rent-A-Cop stammers. "Of course I can!" The Sinister Desk Clerk condescends. "Someone's got to get everything ready," he continues, briefly taking his eyes off the panicky Rent-A-Cop to glance around at his ruined surroundings with disdain. "They're coming," he adds, refocusing his attentions on The Rent-A-Cop. "All of them," he stresses.. "And we've each got our part to play." With this last, The Sinister Desk Clerk steps closer to The Rent-A-Cop and, with a bit of a soothing lilt in his voice as if he were addressing a child, The Sinister Desk Clerk notes, "Even you!" "What?" Poor Dim Rent-A-Cop squints. "You're dinner," The Sinister Desk Clerk replies with a toothy smile that never reaches his eyes. Poor Doomed Rent-A-Cop manages to scream, "No!" just as The Sinister Desk Clerk roughly snatches him up, and the camera discreetly darts over to the just-restored mirror as a gout of fresh Rent-A-Cop arterial spray splatters across its surface, and...

...SPLAT! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, once more writhing about upon his overstuffed armchair with delight over the fifth season's endlessly compelling blood-burst of a title card, and I was wondering when you'd finally speak up, my scaly friend. "Oh! You'll pardon my perhaps unnerving silence up to this point, I'm sure!" Raoul shrieks again. "But while this charming little Thursday-evening divertissement's more atmospheric sequences often are quite delightful to behold...!" ...nothing gets you shrieking like the gore? "Precisely!" Then you should enjoy this evening's installment. "Hooray!" Once we get to the end of it. "Rats!" Not to worry, friend of friends -- like I said before, this one's really short, so you should be shrieking that damn fool head of yours off in no time. "Whee!" So, should I hurry along, then? "Please do!" Fine.

A mellow bossa nova hits the soundtrack as the camera fades up on the hotel's freshly revivified front desk. A hand taps smartly on the shiny call bell before we head...

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