Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 1 USERS: C+
The Hardy Boys 2.0

Establishing shot of an RV park. Inside a stylish little Airstream (much like Matthew McConaughey, I love Airstreams; also there's the naked bongo drumming, but let's leave that for another time), the Hellhounds argue about going back to the house. NoBeard doesn't want to, but Beard-y reminds him that they are ghost hunters, saying deliberately that "this is the big time. This is our ticket to money, fame, sex. With girls, okay?" I have rarely had an experience where I hated something so entirely but couldn't figure out why. Is it the actor and his ridiculous delivery? Is it the pancake of a character he's been given? Is it the extreme nature of how derivative these two characters are, coupled with everybody's shrugging lack of investment in trying to come up with anything less derivative? I don't know, but the Hellhounds make it worse by piling on another "funny" line meant to diffuse the whole "SEEN THIS ALREADY" complaint shouted from my couch: "W.W.B.D.? What would Buffy do?" A loud knock on the door startles the pair, to "hilarious" effect.They both poke their heads out the small door to the trailer and Dean jokes, "Look at that. Action figures in their original packaging." The four stand around debating whether or not the Fearsome Twosome should shut down their website. Dean mentions that the more people hear about the haunted house, the more will show up to check it out, and the more people will get hurt. Beard-y dorks, "We have an obligation. To our fans. To the truth." Dean goes bad cop, threatening to beat them up, while Sam plays good cop, telling Dean they should just go, because the Yappy Dogs won't help them even if they knew "that thing about Mordechai." Sam and Dean walk away, with the little fellas nipping at their heels begging to be told "that thing about Mordechai." The brothers do a little routine where Dean pretends to be mad at Sam for blabbing, while Sam asks the Hellhounds for their word that they'll shut the site down after getting this info. The Pups promise, Sam and Dean feed them a line about Mordechai really having killed himself with a .45, ensuring that this information will get out, and they'll now know how to kill him.

In a diner -- another dining establishment? -- the brothers sit in a booth. Dean keeps pulling the string on some sort of horrible kitsch thing on the wall, that makes a little fisherman figurine cackle and move its jaw up and down. Sam grabs the string to make it stop, telling Dean to quit it. Dean stares at him, reaches over, and pulls the string again. Heh. Dean tells Sam to lighten up. Sam takes a swig off his beer while checking out the website. The new information has been posted, so they decide to wait a bit for enough people to read about it. Dean picks up his beer, clinks with Sam's, takes a swig, and then looks confused as the bottle won't come out of his hand. A smile has crept slowly onto Sam's face, and he breaks into a weirdly dorky cackle himself. He holds up a tube of superglue, sort of drops his shoulders goofily, and pulls the little man's string again, all while cackling and having his hair weirdly half-tucked behind his ears. The whole effect is really rather disarming. Metal Teeth Chomp.

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