But none of that matters at the moment, because we've finally arrived at the entirely gratuitous shot so many of you have been waiting for ever since the Director's Cuts were released on The CW's website last week. Sam wanders over and is most displeased to discover that El Deano's grown quite fond of his new role in life. "I thought you hated being a PA!" he hisses. Dean flusters a bit at this and looks down. The camera follows to linger for a glorious two seconds on Dean's Crotch. Oh, don't give me that "They were showing us his tool belt and how proud he is of it!" crap. The lighting's so goddamned dark in this scene that no one -- no one -- can tell what he's got strapped around his waist, and the only thing emerging from the overall gloom at the moment is that faded-denim-bedecked groin of his. Don't lie to me. You're staring at it, too. "Yes, indeedy! And it's making me nervous!" As well it should, Raoul. As well it should. In any event, after a bit of comedic business involving Dean's headset, we learn that Darling Sammy LIED his way into the Los Angeles County Coroner's office, and has confirmed that Gary Cole's spectacular suicide was not, in fact, another ploy by the Hell Hazers II producers to drum up a little more chatter on the Internets: The guy is actually dead. El Deano brightens considerably at the news and drags Sam over to Dave The Sound Guy's console so Sam might get an earful of what Dave played back for Dean earlier. Sammy dons the headphones and exchanges A Look Fraught With Significance with his brother after listening to the EVP.
As the boys exit the soundstage to break into an unused trailer outside, Dean confides that ever since Gary Cole offed himself, he's been getting "electromagnetic readings up the wazoo." "For some reason," Dean continues, "it's a legit haunting now." They hop into the trailer, where Dean inserts a DVD into the player. It contains the footage shot of Gary Cole's hanging -- which Dean used his newfound PA connections to obtain, natch -- and eagle-eyed Sammy instantly spots The Black-And-White Bint lurking in a corner of the set as Gary Cole comes crashing through the fake cabin's roof. Dean references Three Men And A Baby -- a myth that's been thoroughly debunked, I should note -- to focus attention on "spirit photography" and all that entails. Sam rightly recoils at the mention of Steve Guttenberg's name and instead chooses to squint at the blurry on-screen image of The Black-And-White Bint's face. "I've seen her before!" he realizes, so it's off to another part of the lot where, after we endure yet another bit of comic business between Dean and his headset, Sam shares the research he's managed to collect on Stage Nine's previous victims, the first of whom was "Elise Drummond." "Starlet back in the 'thirties," Sam explains, handing over a webpage printout of an archived newspaper article whose headline reads, "Suicide Stuns Hollywood: Elise Drummond Hangs From Studio Rafters." The article itself directly contradicts Sam's version of events -- especially the part about Poor Elise being "destitute" -- so let's stick to the basics. Poor Elise had an affair with a studio executive who fired her after he broke up with her, and so in her heartbroken despair, she jumped off the Stage Nine scaffolding with a noose around her neck while her former colleagues were filming a movie below. "We're diggin' tonight, aren't we?" Dean grunts. "Oh, I do hope so!" Raoul shrieks, clapping his paws together in giddy anticipation. "It's simply been ages since we've seen the lads properly desecrate a grave!"