Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Do Hollywood

After that oleaginously insincere tribute to the corpses in question, Sam retires to Our Intrepid Heroes temporary squat: The unused trailer they broke into yesterday. There, he apparently spends the better part of the day scouring the dailies for further clues while Dean romps around in search of further information on Billy Beard's final resting place. The good news? Dean gets it. The bad news? Billy Beard was cremated. Sam mopes while Dean cheerily wonders if there film cameras picked up any more ghosts. "Not in the first six hours," Sam groans before pondering it all for a moment and suggesting, "You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie 'cause they think it sucks. 'Cause, it kinda does." Hee. On the screen, Wall-Eyed Tara launches into that suspiciously authentic-sounding incantation from earlier in the episode, and Sam finally -- finally -- recognizes the Latinating for what it is. "That's the real deal!" he realizes. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. "What the hell is that doing in a Hollywood movie?"

To find the answer for that, Our Intrepid Heroes head up to see Marty The Writer, whose office, incidentally, is lined with posters for some of the movies featured in the fake commercial. You should know that the actual title is Revenge Of The Monster Truck, and the tagline is "This Bad Boy Doesn't Stop For Pedestrians." Hee. It also didn't stop for rational plotting, coherent characterization, sensible dramatization of notorious episodes from this nation's fraught racial history, believable geography, satisfactory resolutions, or logic, but I suppose that's the point. There's also a lurid poster for Carnivore Carnival, which I really want to see. ANY-way, long story short, it turns out Marty The Writer didn't actually write the relevant bits of the script. Nope, turns out Obsequious Walter actually penned the original screenplay -- a masterpiece entitled Lord Of The Dead -- which the studio then passed on to Marty for extensive revisions. Marty presumably provides Our Intrepid Heroes with copies of the original, and...

...after they've had a chance to scan through it, Sam announces that "it reads like a how-to manual of conjuration -- a textbook on how to summon ghosts and get them to do whatever you want," including killing the people who screwed up your screenplay. Obviously, Obsequious Walter has Issues. YAWN! "Don't you mean DUN!?" No, I mean YAAAAWN! "Ooops! My bad! Nevermind!"

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