Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Do Hollywood

Anyway, Gary Cole spots El Deano and imperiously summons him all the way over from the door using the moniker "Green Shirt Guy." Gary Cole, you see, would like a smoothie from craft services, and he'd like El Deano to fetch it, as he's mistaken El Deano for a production assistant. El Deano nearly blows Our Intrepid Heroes' cover with his ignorance of both smoothies and craft services, but The Ginormotron fortunately takes one and a half giant steps over to save the day with the promise of one smoothie coming right up for Mr. Studio Executive, sir. As Darling Sammy drags Dumb Dean away from Gary Cole, Dumb Dean wonders, "What's a PA?" "I think they're kinda like slaves," Sam whispers back. "Kinda"?

Gary Cole unfunnily quips about the dismal quality of the help one sees around Hollywood sets nowadays just before the camera passes through a brief montage of that dismal help assiduously and professionally going about their business to land, finally, upon Dean wandering around near the outer scaffolding with a tray full of the earlier-requested beverage. He gladly offers one to a passing electrician, and as the sounds of the crew ramping up for yet another take carry on in the background, sly Dean scopes out the bits of rigging in which we last saw Poor Ole Grizzly Dead Frank. He pulls out his trusty EMF reader and is halfway up the scaffolding's stairs when the bell rings and all of the extraneous lights go out. Dumb Dean stops where he stands, not comprehending what's going on, as the camera darts over to...

...the clapboard for Hell Hazers II: The Reckoning, which is the name of the ghastly horror flick they're filming on Stage Nine. By the way, the clapper reads, "Roll 6 Scene 6 Take 6," which... "...isn't terribly funny at all!" Raoul shrieks on my behalf. Thank you, my scaly friend. "Don't mention it!" The clapper loader calls out, "Mark!" and withdraws his arm from the frame, revealing Wall-Eyed Tara standing inside the cabin set with what has to be a goddamned Book of Shadows in her hands. Behind her stands a trio of this movie's Monster Chow bits, two of them louche and douchey fratboys, the other some tiny, bleach-blonde bimbo with tremendous hooters. Just as they're about to get the scene underway, we cut back over to Dean who, now that he understands what's happening, carries on up the stairs to continue his investigation. Back down on the set, Wall-Eyed Tara begins reading an incantation from the book, and to anyone who's ever watched this show before, it sounds terribly authentic, so you end up wondering why Our Intrepid Heroes didn't immediately know exactly what was going on, but I suppose that's not important. By the way, I must admit that even if she does have lousy depth perception, Elizabeth Whitmere's diction while reading the Craptin she's been given for this scene is simply lovely. The Ackles and The Padalecki could take lessons. In any event, while all that's going on down below, El Deano's reached the catwalk level up above and deploys his trusty EMF reader. Nothing happens. Dean does, however, wave his flashlight around, and its beam lands upon a suspicious screen hanging just below the ceiling.

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