RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" Raoul shrieks, still squirmily delighted by the blazing title card even after all these episodes. I must say, Raoul, you've been awfully quiet so far. You aren't still mad at me, are you? "Of course not!" Well, then, what's with the silent treatment during the teaser? You didn't even howl at the gore. "Strictly second-rate, if you ask me! A few dollops of Karo Syrup dripping down that gentleman's face?! Insulting! I won't waste my voice on it! I'll be saving that for the scene in which the charming young ghoul shoves the morbidly obese movie producer into a wind machine, thanks very much!" Raoul! Spoiler! "Oh, ooops! Hee!"
The camera fades up above a Hollywood backlot just as a little tourist tram rounds a corner below. We can hear the unbearably perky tour guide babble, "First opened in 1927, the lot has been in continuous operation for eight decades!" and shut up, unbearably perky tour guide, even if you did manage to get the year right. The camera hops down inside the tram itself, where we find El Deano giddily enthusing, "Hey, you know this is where they filmed Creepshow?" His seatmate, a tubby adolescent wad of BLAAAAARG sucking on an ice cream cone, is singularly unimpressed. Wacky, circus-like oom-pah-pah flatulence arrives on the soundtrack just as the unbearably perky tour guide announces they're coming up on the Stars Hollow set. The camera shoots forward in the car to note Darling Sammy's suddenly uncomfortable demeanor. When the unbearably perky tour guide blathers something about being lucky enough to meet one of the show's stars, Sam gulps, shoots a disgusted side-eye over his shoulder at Dean, and hisses, "Come on!" before bolting from the tram. Oh, Sam. That Ventimiglia douche left for NBC a year ago. You don't have to worry about running into him here anymore.