Supernatural

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The Hardy Boys Do the Zelda Rubenstein Thing

Cut to Sam flipping through the phone book. He reads off a list of psychics and palm readers. "There's El Divino, there's The Mysterious Mr. Fortinski." Heh. I'm going to start calling my husband The Mysterious Mr. Fortinski. Sam continues, "There's Missouri Mosley," when Dean jumps in, "Wait, wait. Missouri Mosely?" Dean gets their father's journal out of the car and reads off the first sentence of the first page: "'I went to Missouri, and I learned the truth.'" Dean shrugs adorably, "I always thought he meant the state."

The Hardy Boys sit on a couch waiting and looking tense. Loretta Devine sweets her way through the room walking a man to the front door, "All right then, don't you worry about a thing. Your wife is crazy about ya." He leaves and she turns to the brothers: "Poor bastard. His woman is cold bangin' the gardener." Hee. Dean asks why she didn't tell him, and she wises, "People don't come here for the truth, they come here for good news." I have a feeling I'm going to be learning a lot from the Divine Ms. Devine. She tells Sam and Dean to follow her. They look surprised that she knows who they are. Missouri cutes, "Well, let me look atcha. Ooh, you boys grew up handsome!" She points at Dean: "And you were one goofy-lookin' kid, too." Dean gives her a cartoonish "Yoips!" look while Sam grins like a seven-year-old. Missouri turns to Sam, takes his hand, and then furrows her brow: "Oh, honey, I'm sorry 'bout your girlfriend. And your father. He's missing?" Cut to Sam and Dean both freaking out. Sam, "How'd you know all that?" Missouri, "Well, you were just thinking it." When Missouri says she doesn't know where their father is, Dean takes this opportunity to ride in on his high horse: "You don't know? You're supposed to be a psychic, right?" And there he hit the "Oooh, chile" button, as Missouri goes off on him: "Boy, you see me sawing some bony tramp in half, you think I'm a magician? I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room but I can't just pull facts out of thin air." Dean's like, "Well, ex-CA-uuuuse ME!" Sam grins some more.She tells the boys to sit down, and as they settle in she goes off on Dean again: "Boy, if you put your foot up on my coffee table, I'm gonna whack you with a spoon." When Dean protests that he didn't put his foot up, she says, "Well, you were thinkin' about it." Hoo-whee, this lady is tough, but fair. Sam asks Missouri to tell them what she told their father. She says she just "told him what was out there in the dark. I guess you could say, I drew back the curtains for him." Shit, is THAT what's lurking behind my curtains? Eviscerating demons? Time to get a maid in here, I guess. Missouri continues, telling the boys that their father took her to the house hoping she could "sense the fingerprints of this thing." Sam about craps his pants: "And could you?" No, no she couldn't. Otherwise you'd be out of a job where you get to perfect the elusive Crapping My Pants look. Missouri doesn't know what it was, but whispers, "Oh, it was evil."

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Supernatural

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