Supernatural

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The Hardy Boys Do the Zelda Rubenstein Thing

Commercials. Premature Piano of Exorcised Ghosts plays as Sam, Dean, and Missouri stand in the midst of a terrible mess. That poltergeist really threw down in there. Sam is not convinced the house is cleansed, but Missouri says it is. Jenny returns with her kids and expresses surprise at the mess. Sam says they'll pay for it, while Dean is like, "No way, José!" Missouri tells Jenny that Dean will clean it all up, and then turns to Dean, who hasn't said a word out loud, to tell him not to cuss at her.

Though Missouri just implied that Dean would clean the huge mess right then, we cut immediately to the boys and Missouri leaving the house that same night. Ah, the complex calculus of understanding how time works. The three turn to look back at Jenny standing in the doorway and then turn to leave. We cut annoyingly to Jenny lounging in bed. Nothing like the violent exorcism of a poltergeist to make one feel cozy! She turns out the light and, surprise! the bed starts shaking all over the place.

Exterior shot of the house. Pan down to find the boys waiting on the street in the Metallicar. Dean asks Sam to remind him why they're still sticking around. Sam tells him he just has a bad feeling about it still. Dean says, "Why? Missouri did her whole Zelda Rubenstein thing. The house should be clean. The whole thing should be over." Oh, Dean, I bet you were one of those assholes who got up and left after Naomi Watts got safely out of the well in The Ring. You have to watch the whole thing, nimrod. Just then, Sam looks up at the second-floor window to see the image from his nightmare -- Jenny standing at the window, soundlessly screaming for help. The Hardy Boys run into the house, Dean telling Sam to "grab the kids, I'll get Jenny."

Jenny is trapped in her bedroom. Cut to Sari's room, where the Maternal Flame has materialized in her closet again. Cut back to Dean at Jenny's door, telling her the "stand back!" before kicking the door in. One time, I got stuck in a bathroom while everyone else was outside having a barbecue and I yelled and yelled for help until my friend Greg came winging down the stairs, got to the door, and yelled, "Stand back!" before unsticking the door knob. Ah, fun times, fun times. The moral of that story is that Dean easily gets Jenny out of her room. A little WD-40 would probably have worked just as well.Sam appears in Sari's doorway, holding Richie. The Maternal Flame stands between them. Sam snakes around the flames to pick Sari up. He tells her "not to look" and gets them out of the room. Meanwhile, outside, Dean and Jenny look frantically at the front door, waiting for their families to emerge. Inside, Sam gets down the stairs successfully, only to make this weird face. The face is not unlike the Crapping My Pants, but this time its a little more Oops, Gotta Take Care of Some Business Before Leaving the House. …What? I'm just trying to paint a picture for y'all. He puts the kids down and tells Sari to take her brother outside and don't look back. Sari looks terrified, and just then Sam gets his legs knocked out from underneath him and gets dragged along the floor back into the kitchen. Sari gets her brother out, and tells Dean that Sam is stuck inside. Dean looks intently at the front door just as the camera zooms in on it shutting in fast forward.

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Supernatural

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