I have to get this out of the way now: It's David Monahan -- far better known to me as Gay Tobey from Dawson's Creek -- in priest drag, so there's his character's credibility blown all to hell before he even appears on the screen. Dawson's Creek still ruins everything, even now, four years after it finally went off the air. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes: "It's all starting to make sense," Dean muses while scanning Dead Gay Tobey's grinning mug. "Devoted priest dies a violent death? That's vengeful spirit material, right there, and he knew all the other stiffs 'cause they went to church here -- in fact, I'm willing to bet that because he was their priest, he knew things about them that nobody else knew." "DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!" Raoul shrieks. "DEAN IS EXACTLY CORRECT! Now, could we please skip ahead to the part where Our Dear Boys salt and burn the wretch's bones? PLEASE?!" Oh, Raoul. You know I'm practically powerless when you bat those sensitive and pleading eyes at me, but I'm afraid that long before we get to that point, we have to ignore nearly everything that comes out of Jared Padalecki's mouth for the rest of the evening. For yes, gentle reader, Darling Sammy goes all 700 Club upon our collective asses, spouting about how he prays every day and how angels are real and how Father Reynolds seems to have had his own prayers answered and here's a nickel, Sam. Go call someone who cares. When El Deano's finally had enough of all this God crap, bitch, he orders Sam back inside the church to check out Dead Gay Tobey's grave.
Adding insult to injury, a smartass cherub gives us all the finger as we pass into the crypt below. Dean obliviously continues into the crypt proper while Sammy draws himself up -- can't say "short" when it's Darling Sammy we're talking about, now can we? -- upon catching a soft murmuring of voices emanating from somewhere in the antechamber. The murmuring's very Wings Of Desire, actually, which is odd, because neither Gloria nor Zack got the same treatment from Dead Gay Tobey when he went to visit them, and it's not like Sam's suddenly transformed into Bruno Ganz listening to people reading to themselves in the Berlin State Library, either. Whatever! A full-length statue of yet another supplicant angel starts jittering and wobbling on its stand, and Sam warily and disbelievingly approaches it until a sudden burst of white light floods the room from somewhere behind him. He turns towards the source and looks up at the unseen entity now materializing before him with equal parts fear and rapture, and pull the other one, show. Like Jared Padalecki, fifteen-foot-tall freak of nature that he is, has to crane his head back to look little David Monahan in the eye.