When a high-end camper meets a gruesome end in the New Jersey Pine Barrens, Our Intrepid Heroes plus Bobby make the trek to Atlantic County to investigate. They're hobbled at first by Bobby's insistence that they remain entirely off the grid for the duration of the investigation, and the fetid squalor they find themselves living in once they set up shop in a long-abandoned farmhouse sends Dreary El Deano spiraling into depression, but once they don their FBI drag and head to the nearest Biggerson's to interrogate the chief ranger assigned to Wharton State Forest, Dean perks up considerably -- especially after he inhales one of Biggerson's new, limited-time-only Pepperjack Turducken Slammers.
But first things first: Ranger Rick, as he likes to call himself, ends up being of little use to their investigation, partly because the guy just doesn't have that much information to offer the boys, but mainly because he seems to be perpetually stoned. Sam, Dean, and Bobby nevertheless trek out into the woods, where they quickly find the drippy remains of one of Ranger Rick's colleagues. Ranger Rick himself gets chomped on by the first commercial break, but luckily enough, Bobby manages to shoot Ranger Rick's attacker and, after they've dragged the corpse back to that long-abandoned farmhouse, the low-rent autopsy they perform on the remains reveals the creature's not the Jersey Devil at all, but rather a radically altered local who went missing shortly before all of the subsequent attacks and disappearances started hitting the papers.
The three head back to Biggerson's, where it soon becomes apparent that there's something in the chain's new, limited-time-only Pepperjack Turducken Slammers that's turning a few rare customers into flesh-eating psycho zombies while rendering the majority of the restaurant's remaining patrons a little sluggish. Stoned, you might say. Like Doped-Up El Deano, in fact. So, after a quick Dean detox that seems to involve little more than copious amounts of caffeine, Our Intrepid Heroes plus Bobby stake out Biggerson's loading dock, follow a supply truck back to its source, and uncover a vast Leviathan conspiracy to drug the United States population into complacency via fast food. Yeah, you can tell it's a Ben Edlund episode right there. Hippie weirdo.
Anyway, this of course means the return of Leviathan Dick, who with his minions quickly captures Bobby thanks in large part to the latter's stupidity while casing the headquarters of Richard Roman Enterprises -- a huge multinational that happens to have its base in middle-of-nowhere Hammonton, because of course. In any event, Bobby doesn't learn much during his brief stay in captivity, and when Sam and Dean bust in to hose everything down with borax, it looks like the three might make a clean getaway. You know, so to speak. Unfortunately, it turns out Dick's quite tricky with a revolver, and the episode ends with a bullet in Bobby's brain. DUN!
Rattle, Rattle WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE THEN! Lemme see: The Leviathans, led by one of their own currently in the form of a gentleman named Dick Roman, are unkillable. Oh, and Our Intrepid Heroes have Issues. Did I get everything? "I believe you did!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, who appears to be wide awake for this evening's impending festivities. You think you're gonna stay that way, my scaly friend? "Hee!" titters Raoul, bringing a coy yet impeccably manicured paw up to his impressively fanged maw. "We shall see! [Giggle!] It's a mystery!" That's one thing you can call it, I guess. "Onwards!" As you wish.
Rattle, Rattle STILL NOT GIVING A SHIT NOW! Things get all Animal Cam up in here the instant the dripping is done, as we tag along through the underbrush with some feral-sounding, hyperventilating beastie who stops just on the edge of a clearing, within which it spies a late-model hatchback parked next to a white tent. We then abandon the beastie and his Animal Cam for the moment in favor of examining the campsite's noisily chugging generator, and as we inch along the ground, following the power cord from generator to tent, the just-appearing location card informs us we've landed in "Wharton State Forest, The Pine Barrens, New Jersey." "Eeeek! What was that?!" Oh, I'm sorry, Raoul -- I should have warned you about that last link. "Apology accepted! But I repeat: What was that!?" You don't want to know. "Okay!" Well, that was easy. So, should I continue? "Please do!" Excellent.
We eventually creep up to the tent's windows, and the place is not so much a simple camping tent as it is a portable cabin, complete with night tables, lamps, a TV with what appears to be a small stereo system, and a pair of leathery-faced fortysomethings in matching track suits sprawled across the top of a king-size sleigh bed, each tightly wrapped in a silvery, cocoon-like sleeping bag. The female of the pair switches off the television set via her remote, and after the male of the pair kisses her goodnight, we...
...get another brief burst of the Animal Cam before...
...rejoining the gentleman as he stretches to switch off his bedside light, after which he activates his iPod, encases himself further within the depths of his silvery cocoon, and closes his eyes to drift off to Volume Four of Nature Sounds' Sounds Of Nature, which the mellow narrator informs us is entitled "Soothing Seas." Seagulls erupt on the soundtrack as everything slowly fades to black.