Supernatural
How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Don't Know Dick

In any event, Bobby eventually unearths the corpse's brick-sized, blackened adrenal glands, which finally clue Sam in to the fact that they're not actually dealing with the Jersey Devil this evening. "Whatever this thing is," he sighs, stating the obvious, "it sure as hell ain't Gerald Browder anymore." At this point, the increasingly effervescent Dean interrupts the proceedings to plead, "Okay, guys, seriously -- is it time for dinner?"

Cut to Biggerson's. Dean tears into yet another Pepperjack Turducken Slammer while Super-Smart Sammy deploys his mad Googling skillz to unearth a veritable cache of details on the life of the late, unlamented Gerald Browder that nobody cares about at this point. Suddenly, both Sam and Bobby make note of the audibly vehement abandon with which Dean is attacking his awesomely delicious sandwich, and Sam hesitantly asks, "Uh, so, what do you think?" "I'm not that worried about it," Dean mumbles through a mouthful of meat. "Excuse me?" Bobby squints. "'Funny, right?" the remarkably effervescent Dean slurs, another broad, goofy grin spreading across his face. "I could give two shakes of a rat's ass," he continues. "Is that right?" he wonders, by now babbling. "Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else?" Bobby and Sam exchange A Look Fraught With Significance, then glance around the dining room to discover that every single other patron in the joint is just as engrossed in his or her awesomely delicious Pepperjack Turducken Slammer as Dean is. Super-Smart Sammy instantly understands something deeply nefarious is afoot at the Biggerson's, and he snatches Dean's sandwich right out of his brother's mouth. "There's some funky chicken in the TDK Slammer, ain't there?" Bobby correctly guesses. "Uh, duuuuuuh," Sam may or may not reply as he takes a tentative whiff of the thing. He blanches at the stench, and with that, we shoot back to...

...that squalid little abandoned farmhouse on the outskirts of Hammonton. "This is stupid!" the exceedingly effervescent Dean pouts. "My sandwich didn't do anything!" "There's something wrong with you, dumbass!" Bobby more-or-less snaps as he and Sam free what remains of Dean's awesomely delicious Pepperjack Turducken Slammer from its swan-shaped foil prison. "Are you kidding?" excessively effervescent Dean counters. "I'm fine!" he insists. "Best I've felt in a couple of months," he continues, hopping up to perch on the squalid little abandoned farmhouse's rickety-looking counter. "[My Sweet Baboo]? Black goo? I don't even care anymore -- and you know what's better? I don't care that I don't care!" "Atta girl!" You took the words right out of my mouth, Raoul. "Hee!" Sam impatiently informs Dean that he's as stoned as Ranger Rick and everybody else back at Biggerson's at the moment, and in a cleansing burst of synchronicity, Dean's awesomely delicious Pepperjack Turducken Slammer chooses this very instant to show them all why. As Dean gazes on with open-mouthed dismay, his formerly delicious sandwich belches out a thick stream of viscous grey foulness that slowly oozes down onto the plate. "That...that's in me?" Dean stammers. "Only half of it," Sam rather amusingly shrugs before he begins the following obvious conclusion: "So, whatever turned Gerry Browder into a Pumpkinhead, and is currently turning Dean into an idiot..." "...is in the Turducken Slammer at Biggerson's," Bobby finishes for him. "If I wasn't so chilled right now," and exceptionally effervescent Dean offers, "I would puke." Heh.

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Supernatural

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