Castiel, slumming it on Earth while he's avoiding Heaven, decides to become a hunter like his buddies Sam and Dean. The brothers are a bit surprised, but amenable to the idea, as long as Castiel accompanies them in the Impala instead of magically flitting his way to the crime scene. Sadly, Castiel is not allowed to ride shotgun and must remain in the backseat like a little kid. For his first act as a hunter, he finds a case involving a man's heart literally leaping out of his body while he was meeting his mistress. At first the guys suspect the man's wife is a witch or something of that sort, but she and her late hubs had an open marriage and she wasn't jealous in the least. A little more digging uncovers another series of victims, including someone who gets squashed by a giant anvil. Is it a hapless viewer of this show? No, it's a bank security guard, killed in the line of duty.
The guys also notice that there are black circles painted into the bank walls and vault. They eventually come to the conclusion that the crimes seem to be something out of a cartoon. They trace down some of the theft victims to a nursing home. Most of the residents are so far gone that they don't even realize someone's been stealing from them. Even Castiel's adorable questioning of the nursing home's cat provides no leads. Then, by some coincidence, Sam recognizes one of the residents as their old friend Frank. Frank had psychokinetic powers back in the day, but now he's mostly just trapped in his own head, staring at cartoons all day and avoiding reality.
The Winchesters and their plus-one realize that the slimy nursing home director is using Frank and his cartoon fantasies to break into banks. Unfortunately, Frank is still powerful enough that a "bubble" of animated weirdness surrounds him and affects unintended targets. Castiel takes Sam into Frank's mind to ask him for his help. Frank snaps back to reality long enough to thwart the director, but he's worried that he'll hurt someone again when his dementia inevitably takes hold again. Castiel heals him -- sort of -- and while the act leaves Frank at peace, it also leaves him a shell of his former self. Castiel decides to stay with Frank for a bit, to watch over him.
In other subplots, we learn that the reason that Castiel is avoiding Heaven is that he's really super ashamed of all the awful things he did up there. He's been running away from his problems by playing at hunting. If there's one thing the show loves more than two parallels, it's three parallels, so we also get flashbacks to Sam and Amelia. The budding couple are also running away from their problems by playing at having a relationship. Amelia's father comes for a visit and acts like a jerk to Sam. They eventually start to get along... just in time for Amelia to get a phone call telling her that her dead husband Don isn't actually dead. Angels may or may not be responsible. It should probably be moving or at least make one feel sorry for Sam, but it's all too hilariously awful and predictable, not to mention not particularly well-acted. Stay tuned for the full recap.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!
THEN! Sam met a cranky lady vet named Amelia. They eventually bonded over the fact that they were both all alone in the world. Amelia revealed that her idea of pillow talk involved discussions of her dead husband. Dean thought he was hallucinating because he kept seeing Castiel everywhere. Then it turned out that Castiel was real, even if his terrible beard wasn't. Castiel tried to assuage Dean's feelings of guilt over the whole Purgatory escape because it turned out that Castiel actually wanted to stay there. He was still feeling pretty bad about messing up Heaven and Earth during his stint as God. Dean was glad to have his own personal angel back, even though he was a bit wary because Castiel couldn't remember how he managed to make it out. Unbeknownst to Castiel, a mysterious being named Naomi sent many doomed angels to rescue him. To repay her, he's going to become her little sleeper agent angel, reporting in to her when she summons him. Naomi must be crazy powerful, because she can wipe his memory and leave him completely unaware of their secret meetings.
NOW! We start off in a sunny park in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. For a few moments, it seems someone has spliced in a segment from Cheaters. The camera focuses on a man's wedding band as he texts something on his phone. He looks vaguely like Dillon Casey. He fiddles with his ring and looks worried. A few moments later, a young woman with long, reddish hair walks up to him. "Gary," she says by way of greeting. He's positively giddy to see her. "Olivia! After last time, I didn't think you'd come," he says. They smile at each other and make with the moon eyes. As Olivia reaches for Gary's hands, she hears a thumping sound. "Do you hear that?" she asks. "Is that... is that you?" The thumping grows louder, quicker. Gary doesn't have long to wonder what's going on before something in his chest crackles and crunches. He groans in pain and staggers back. He pulls open his shirt, revealing that his heart is quite literally trying to leap out of his chest. The heart, rather than being anatomically correct, is stylistic -- like a Valentine's Day candy box. It strains against Gary's flesh and then, with one final crunch of its bony prison, explodes all over a screaming Olivia. She looks like Carrie at the end of the prom. Meaty chunks of Gary dribble off the front of her dress and into the fiery explosion of the title card.
We join the Winchesters at a random gas station, somewhere between their last case and their next. Sam talks to Mama Tran on his phone while Dean fetches two beers. Castiel leans against the side of the Impala, deep in thought as he reads a newspaper. Sam gets one of the beers; the angel does not. Sam, desperate to end his conversation with Mama Tran, hands off the phone to Dean. Dean looks not at all amused by this. "Mrs. Tran, yeah, hi," Dean says into the phone before hanging up. "Tunnel," he deadpans and tosses the phone back to Sam. Sam fills him in on what's going on with the Trans. Kevin hasn't had much luck reading his half of the tablet and Garth has them stashed away on his houseboat. Does saltwater deter demons like regular old dry salt? If so, then it's a rather ingenious place for a hideout. If not, then it seems kind of silly and dangerous. At least they don't have any vampirates to watch out for anymore.
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