Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 4 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Get Frisky Over A Pottery Wheel

Down in the boiler room, Shut Up Daddy and The Ceiling Demon negotiate. For two entire minutes. Frederic Lane is, quite frankly, rocking this role like a hurricane, in the process making The Ceiling Demon one of the most entertaining and engaging characters ever to appear on this show, but I have got to cut to the chase here, partly because this damn recap's already at least fifteen pages long, but mainly because I need to finish this before my butt develops, like, gangrene, or something. (I was going to type "before my butt develops, like, petrifold regression," but, yeah. I'm not that much of a geek, for Christ's sake.) Long story short, The Ceiling Demon agrees to restore Dean to vigorous health in return for that fucking Colt and...something else that remains unrevealed as the scene draws to a close, but it's something The Ceiling Demon perhaps desires more than that fucking Colt itself. By the way, The Ceiling Demon still holds Dean responsible for the deaths of his so-called offspring, and Shut Up Daddy has known all along what's so special about Sammy and "the other children." Just tuck those two little pieces of information away for later in the season, because nothing more will come of them anytime soon.

Room 4747, where we have reached Dean's moment of truth: Will he shrug off his dread of something after death and accept whatever dreams may come, or will he remain on earth and eventually turn into a racist truck? Decisions, decisions. Dean slowly turns his head (his eyes brimming with tears, no less) to answer her, but before he can open his mouth, the fluorescents start buzzing on and off. Dean, instantly suspicious, rises to his filthy feet and demands, "What are you doing that for?" "I'm not doing it!" Tessa insists, looking more than a little freaked out herself. Suddenly, The Ceiling Demon in Woogyman form pours out of the air vent and, despite Tessa's frantic screams that he "can't do this," plunges headlong into her gaping mouth. She's pinched her eyes shut in pain during the possession, and now snaps them open to reveal her very own pair of marbled yellow Thriller contacts. "Today's your lucky day, kid," The Ceiling Tessa purrs, and with that, she slaps a palm on Spectral Dean's forehead as the strings go berserk on the soundtrack. Spectral Dean twists his neck around in shock and...

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