Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Are Well-Respected Men

Rattle, Rattle BLOOD-RED THEN! Back at the beginning of the season, as you'll recall, My Sweet Baboo Castiel raised Dashing El Deano from Hell because he and his seemingly never-ending supply of brethren and sistren had work for Our Intrepid Hero to do, including -- as we saw last week -- getting his pretty, pretty face brutalized by Uncle Arthur. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" shrieks Raoul, The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, writhing about upon his overstuffed armchair with delight over said brutalization's inclusion in this week's THEN!, and-- what gives, my scaly friend? I thought your excessive amounts of joy over wanton acts of unrepentant violence operated with a Don't Hurt The Pretty exclusion clause in place? "I made an exception to the clause for last week! Now do be a charming little man and hurry this along! We simply must reach that titillating elevator scene! Post-haste, even!" As you wish, friend of friends. So, in any event, getting his tantalizing ass handed to him on a demonic platter wasn't Dean's only assignment, post-resurrection. Nope, seems he himself initiated the sequence of events leading to The Apocalypse by inadvertently breaking the first of Lilith's 66 seals, and as My Sweet Baboo revealed at the very end of last week's installment, "The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it." So Deeply Depressed El Deano, despite his thoroughly demoralized mood at the moment, has promises to keep and miles to go before he sleeps. You, however, have but one promise to keep, and that's to shut the hell up for the...

...Slashy, Slashy NOW! The NOW! vanishes almost as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by a rather expensive-looking digital alarm clock-slash-iPod dock, whose incessant buzzer erupts at 6 AM on the dot and continues with its infernal bleeping until a pajama'd hand reaches out to shut it off. With that, the opening guitar flourish to "A Well Respected Man" by The Kinks hits the soundtrack, and as Ray Davies launches into the song's first line, we follow as the shot leaps forward a bit in time to watch as the hand from earlier steams up some rice milk for its owner's morning latte, and the camera pulls back, and the hand's owner is Dean. Well, a reasonable facsimile thereof, I suppose, clad in full Gordon Gekko/Bill Lumbergh corporate shithead wear, right down to the red suspenders that match his tie and the French cuffs carefully fastened around his wrists, and he hasn't even opened his mouth yet, but already I want him dead. As the song continues over the action, Dickbag Dean pulls on his jacket and douches outside with his briefcase to his Prius, where -- during a brief pause in the song triggered by his keying the ignition -- Dickbag happily switches the radio station to NPR before heading off to his office. The Prius's license plate indicates we're in Ohio, by the way, but the tower Dickbag ends up at is actually a CGI-heightened version of Vancouver's Marine Building. Just so you know.

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Supernatural

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