Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 2 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Are Well-Respected Men

"Let's be real, here," Zechariah levels with him. "You're good at this. You'll be successful. You will stop it." "Stop what?" Dean immediately shoots back, still looking for the clarification neither he nor the audience will ever, ever receive from this show. "You'll do everything you're destined to do -- all of it," Zechariah replies to the man who doesn't believe in destiny. "But I know, I know," the angel continues, playfully needling him. "You're not strong enough, you're scared, you got daddy issues, you can't do it, right?" "Angel or not," Dean deadpans, "I will stab you in the face." Hee. Zechariah finds this insolence as amusing as I do, and after pausing a moment to enjoy it, he continues with an episode-closing monologue I'm simply going to quote in its entirety, because at this late hour, I haven't the strength to editorialize:

"All I'm saying is, it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them, and I know that particular statement of mine makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever, but here's my point: You get to change things, save people -- maybe even the world! -- all while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse, you frigging moron! It's a goddamned gift! So for Christ's sake, you miserable, self-loathing bag of crap, quit whining about it! Look around! There are plenty of fates worse than yours, so get this into that thick -- albeit unusually pretty -- skull of yours and make it your own: Quit WHINING, you stumpy little bow-legged WHINER! So. There you go. You with me? Would you rather steam yourself another one of your douchey rice-milk lattes, or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?"

Okay, so maybe I had a little strength after all. Dean, momentarily overwhelmed by Zechariah's argument, because he's been a whining little pussy about everyone and everything all goddamned season long, simply clenches his manly jaw a couple of times before vanishing into the final METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Thank God that shit's over with -- I'd like a drink. "Good thing I have the cart!" Bless you, friend of friends. While I have a flagon of my own, would you care to handle next week's preview? "Oh, I'd be delighted! Gather close, my pretties, so I can tell you all about next weeks enthralling installment! Next week, those charming young lads head off in that dazzling little roadster of theirs somewhere that's absolutely stunning because something's gone horribly wrong and they have to fix it! How was that?! Oh, he's got his silly little lips positively draped around a flagon! Hee! Well, no matter! I'll see all of you here next week! Until then, kisses! Kisses for all of my pretties!"

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