Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Are Well-Respected Men

In any event, Sam Wesson attempts to blow Xandir off -- no, not like that -- so Xandir pleads, "Don't be like that! Come on, it's the highlight of my day!" "I never should have told you in the first place," Sam Wesson grumbles. "They're genius," Xandir enthuses before continuing to beg, "Don't hold out on me, dude -- share with the class!" and you know what? The longer I spend with this scene, the more it seems like Xandir's trying to get into Darling Sammy's corporate-approved chinos, and while I'm certainly not one to fault the man for the effort, it's proving to be most distracting indeed, so let's cut to the chase, shall we? "FINALLY!" I'll be ignoring that outburst of Raoul's to let you all know that Sam Wesson's latest dream involved him saving "a grim reaper named Tessa from demons." Xandir squawks with barely suppressed glee at the details before howling, "How much D&D did you play as a kid?" Heh. "Thank God we've got Harry Potter here to save us from The Apocalypse!" he adds rather anviliciously, so Sam Wesson quite correctly calls him a dick, and then it's off to...

...another boring montage of office life! Memos Xerox, forms print, pencils sharpen, and over in his cubicle, Sam Wesson falls into a post-lunch food coma. Yep, yawning hugely, The Ginormogeek rests his freakish Cro-Magnon skull against his fist, closes his eyes, and gets...

...flung into an absolutely fantastic montage of seasons past! The instant he dozes off, Sam Wesson sees himself fending off the demonically enhanced residents of Monument, Colorado with the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun before he shoots Jared Padalecki's erstwhile fiancée in the face, and before he knows it, he and that nasty little bag of dicks from the elevator are double-blasting some striga in Fitchbu(e)rg, right before he himself rips an iron bar like a baseball bat through a Hell-sent beastie's childlike form, and then? The elevator midget drives a steel logging stake through a vampire's chest and proceeds to slice off the vampire's head with an industrial-sized chainsaw! "VIOLENCE!" roars Raoul, quickly rousing himself from his earlier snit now that we're finally getting some more of the good stuff on the screen. "WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Are you happy now? "Indeed!" Raoul gasps, panting for breath, a perfectly honed paw resting against his heaving chest. "But why did you not warn me?! [Wheeze!] Why did you allow me to become so churlish!?" Well, I figured -- given the fact that you passed out dead from all the excitement the first time this episode aired -- that you'd forgotten all the lovely bits that led up to the elevator scene you've been so peevishly demanding I reach, and I figured I'd surprise you. It's like you've never seen any of this before, am I right? "Oh, you dear little man! Absolutely! I can't wait to see what happens next!" All in good time, my scaly friend. All in good time.

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