Supernatural

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Demian: A | 3086 USERS: A-
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The Hardy Boys: Now On A Mission From God!

...The Astoria's parking lot. Bobby hops into his -- what is it, a Chevelle? -- and peels off, thereby allowing us time to linger over Dean's loving reunion with the Impala, and this is how you handle A Moment Of Great Depth And Feeling, show. "[Sniff!] [HONK!] [HNNNNNRRRGH!] It's true!" Dean's face lights up the instant he glimpses Metallicar's hood, and as Sam slings him the keys, Dean croons, "Miss me?" Alas, Dean's joy is short-lived, for when he eases himself gently into the front seat, he immediately spots...The Thing. The Thing that cruel and brutish Sammy so loathsomely and heartlessly added to the dash. The iPod Dock. "[Shudder!]" Raoul cringes, a dark cloud passing across his lizardly soul, for he, too, understands the enormity of the transgression. "You were supposed to take care of her!" Dean exclaims. "Not douche her up!" You know, now that they've finally firmed up this whole Christ/Anti-Christ stuff they've got going between Dean and Sam, I wouldn't be surprised if this iPod dock is actually what starts that whole Apocalypse thing we've been hearing so much about over the last 2000 years. And the second sign of The Apocalypse? The tuneless doucheball Emofag whining that pours from Sam's iPod through the car's speakers the instant Dean turns the key in the ignition. Hee! Dean, by now entirely disgusted, rips the infernal contraption out of the dashboard of his car and dismissively flips it into the back seat before taking off after Bobby.

Out on the road, Dean inquires as to how Sam escaped Lilith's wrath at the end of last season's finale, and it's not important, because we already know, and because what is important is that Dean next inquires as to Ruby's current whereabouts. Why is this important? Because The Anti-Christ LIES to The Stumpy Little Bow-Legged Lamb Of God. Yep, Sam LIES that Ruby's still alive, and then The Foul Fiend And Great Dissembler continues to LIE that he hasn't made use of his freaky ESP powers since Our Dean And Saviour's untimely demise last May. Jesus hmmms at all of this and keeps driving. For now. "He's going to smite Sam right there in the car!" Raoul excitedly shrieks. Alas, my scaly friend, I'm afraid that doesn't happen. "Rats!" Yet. "Hooray!"

The next morning -- and why they didn't take The Jesus Wormhole to get there last night is beyond me -- Bobby introduces Our Mortal Enemies to "Pamela Barnes, the best damn psychic in the state." That sound you heard rising from the Boston area at this moment on Thursday evening was our lovely and talented moderator shrieking her lovely and talented head off over the shout-out. Thanks, Mr. Kripkeeper, sir! Show Barnes, by the way, is a sassy little brunette with severe eyebrows, a Ramones beater, and a tramp stamp that reads "Jesse Forever," so it's quite fortunate that we really don't have to spend that much time with her. Thanks again, Mr. Kripkeeper, sir!

Supernatural

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