Supernatural

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Demian: A | 4 USERS: A+
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The Hardy Boys: Now On A Mission From God!

In any event, Dean attempts a jocular reunion, but Sam -- just like Bobby -- responds with an attack, and yet more manly tussling ensues, and I can't even enjoy it despite the presence of The Padalecki in little more than a form-fitting grey t-shirt because, as I believe I've mentioned, Sam's Hair is EVIL PERSONIFIED, but the upshot of the whole tragically messy situation is this: Sam didn't summon Dean back from Hell, and after the two wrap themselves in a clinging and lingering embrace, The Littlest Brunette quite sincerely wonders if they're gay, so now we really know she's not sleeping with Sam.

A short time later, Sam -- who's pulled on that cute pink paisley button-down of his -- escorts The Littlest Brunette out the door, and after this Cathy or Chrissssty person encourages Sam to keep in touch, Our Intrepid Heroes rapidly descend into yet another bout of rampant internecine douchebaggery, during which we learn that despite Sam's best efforts, no demon on Hell or earth would bargain with him to raise Dean from Perdition. And then they kiss and make up. Well, pretty much. Over a round of beers, Sam, Dean, and Bobby puzzle their collective way through the question that remains: Who freed Dean yesterday morning? Sam notes that the only reason he himself ended up in Pontiac was because a passel of demonic sorts he'd been tracking through Tennessee suddenly fled to Illinois, suspiciously (in retrospect, of course) timing their arrival to coincide with Dean's resurrection. After a lengthy amount of babbling, though, the three still have no answers, so Bobby decides it's time to tap into his own personal Psychic Friends Network, and he heads outside to give a nearby seer of his a ring. Once Bobby's gone, Sam retrieves Dean's amulet from around his remarkably broad and healthy neck and passes it back to his grateful brother, the latter of whom then repairs to the bathroom to, I don't know, freshen himself up prior to that arduous two-minute trip though The Jesus Wormhole to visit Dionne Warwick. Unfortunately for Dean, his tackily decorated surroundings immediately hurl him into a quick series of short, bursting flashbacks to Hell, and he's thoroughly unnerved for a moment before we cut to...

...The Astoria's parking lot. Bobby hops into his -- what is it, a Chevelle? -- and peels off, thereby allowing us time to linger over Dean's loving reunion with the Impala, and this is how you handle A Moment Of Great Depth And Feeling, show. "[Sniff!] [HONK!] [HNNNNNRRRGH!] It's true!" Dean's face lights up the instant he glimpses Metallicar's hood, and as Sam slings him the keys, Dean croons, "Miss me?" Alas, Dean's joy is short-lived, for when he eases himself gently into the front seat, he immediately spots...The Thing. The Thing that cruel and brutish Sammy so loathsomely and heartlessly added to the dash. The iPod Dock. "[Shudder!]" Raoul cringes, a dark cloud passing across his lizardly soul, for he, too, understands the enormity of the transgression. "You were supposed to take care of her!" Dean exclaims. "Not douche her up!" You know, now that they've finally firmed up this whole Christ/Anti-Christ stuff they've got going between Dean and Sam, I wouldn't be surprised if this iPod dock is actually what starts that whole Apocalypse thing we've been hearing so much about over the last 2000 years. And the second sign of The Apocalypse? The tuneless doucheball Emofag whining that pours from Sam's iPod through the car's speakers the instant Dean turns the key in the ignition. Hee! Dean, by now entirely disgusted, rips the infernal contraption out of the dashboard of his car and dismissively flips it into the back seat before taking off after Bobby.

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Supernatural

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