Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D- | 4 USERS: A-
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Anyway, Creepy Grandpa finds Dean's revelation regarding the vampire's true motives disquieting, to say the least, but Dean has yet another bomb to drop. "That's not the worst," he cautions. "Then what is?" Secretly Evil Sammy asks. "We don't scare them anymore," Dean announces. Tense looks all around as Dean shrugs himself into a clean jacket while Secretly Evil Sammy and Creepy Grandpa finish up packing.

Out at the car, Dean tries to reach Bendy Lisa on his cell, but she's screening her calls so she doesn't have to talk to his psychotic ass. I mean, I'm pretty sure. He decides not to leave a message and slams shut the Impala's bottomless trunk just as Secretly Evil Sammy arrives for their departure. "How'd it go with Lisa?" Secretly Evil Sammy asks, feigning interest, for he is Secretly Evil and thus cares as little about Dean's stupid relationship as the rest of us. Well, okay: Me. Secretly Evil Sammy cares as little about Dean's stupid relationship as me. And for that reason, I think I'll be rooting for Secretly Evil Sammy for the next few episodes. In any event, Dean gruffs something about his stupid relationship for a bit before pointedly sighing, "At least you got my back -- no matter what happens, I can always count on you, right, Sammy?" "Yeah, of course," Secretly Evil Sammy LIES, and awwwww! Look at that! He's even unleashed The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Pleading And Doom to sell that particular piece of prevarication! Dean's fucked, y'all. And to his credit, he looks like he knows it as they finally -- FINALLY -- embark and drive off into the episode-ending blackness.

"I feel refreshed!" You should, you heartless little shit -- you've been unconscious for the last nine hours. "Oh, my! Has it really been that long?!" Don't bat those disingenuous eyelashes at me, fool. "Hee!" Now, go fix us some goddamned flagons, already -- I'm thirsty. "As you wish!"

Next week, Dreary El Deano whines about Secretly Evil Sammy to Bobby, My Sweet Baboo, his barista at Starbucks, a homeless guy in a wheelchair who's just trying to sell tiny little American flags to passersby, and some four-year-old who got her head stuck in a fence. Have fun!

Check out an interview with Supernatural star Misha Collins.

Demian's mother won't even let him watch Twilight because she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch. Raoul got stuck sitting next to Robert Pattinson on a flight from Heathrow to Kennedy and nearly died from the stench. "Mercy!" You may reach the former at demian_twop@yahoo.com. The latter is an imaginary gay dragon on the Internet.

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Supernatural

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