Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Should Start Screening Their Calls

So, Ben curtly informs "Linda" that she can't keep calling him at his house, and as the camera made a point of focusing on his wedding ring while he was freshening his cocktail, I suppose we're meant to believe there's some sort of sordid and failing affair going on between these two, especially because Linda keeps pleading, "Come to me! Come to me, Ben!" despite his vehement refusals. He eventually slams down the phone on her and swigs another slug of scotch, but Linda's demonically fast with her redial button, and the phone's ringing again before Ben has a chance to swallow. He answers quickly this time and pleads with her to leave him alone. "I'm not gonna stop!" Linda vows before insisting, "We can be happy together!" "This is crazy!"Ben whispers, almost visibly twisting himself up in knots of anguish. "I love you," Linda counters, "forever!" and the frantically unhinged tone of voice with which she delivers that line indicates that Ben's not so far off with his evaluation of the situation. "I'm sorry," he whimpers, coming close to tears, and he hangs up on her once more, far less forcefully this time around. The phone rings again. Ben fitfully snatches at the receiver and hammers against the base with it for a moment before yanking the entire thing out of the wall and flinging it across the floor. And of course, as one would expect from a series with this one's title, the violently disconnected phone starts ringing again, as loudly and incessantly as before. The strings start going nuts on the soundtrack as Ben slides open a drawer to retrieve a revolver from his desk, and after he plaintively sighs, "Okay, Linda, you win," Ben presses the barrel against the underside of his chin and... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Raoul writhes about atop his overstuffed armchair with delight as a thick spray of blood and brains paints that infernal telephone red right before everything's swallowed up by the...

...RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" shrieks Raoul, as customarily suits his fancy, before he calms down a bit to turn to me and admit, "Well, I must note that particularly pedestrian death sequence wasn't entirely up to this darling little show's usually exacting standards, but at least I could see everything! Hooray!" Now, Raoul, I thought we weren't going to mention the late unpleasantness. Isn't it better simply to forget that indifferently focused hand-held monstrosity ever existed? "It is indeed!" Raoul agrees. "Please continue!" Thanks, friend of friends. I believe I shall.

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