Supernatural

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The Hardy Boys Should Start Screening Their Calls

So, in any event, Our Intrepid Yet Whiny Heroes eventually shut up long enough for the scene to jump ahead to their arrival in "Milan, Ohio." The Impala grumbles down a tree-lined boulevard before turning off into Dead Ben's driveway, and before we know it, the LYING LIARS WHO LIE, once again masquerading as police detectives, have finagled an invitation indoors so they might pepper The Widow Waters with questions regarding her late husband's untimely demise. Upon learning of the violently disconnected telephone, Darling Sammy unleashes The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Pleading And Doom in the widow's direction, and wonders if he might take a look at the abused appliance. Faced with The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes, The Widow Waters has little choice but to agree with the request, and Sam sidles past to cycle through the caller ID until he lands upon the strange number that flashed the night the banker died: "SHA 33."He tosses a suspicious side-eye at Dashing El Deano while tapping on the display's casing, so Dean spins around to demand of The Widow Waters, "What about strange phone calls -- did you receive any of those lately? Weird interference? Static?" "No," The Widow Waters LIES. Dean, not fooled for an instant by her amateurishly LYING ways, hoists a pair of condescending eyebrows into the air and cautions, "Mrs. Waters, withholding information from the police is a capital offense!" Darling Sammy clears this throat -- loudly -- to attract Dim Dean's attention before tossing his nitwitted brother a supremely irritated death glare. Hee. Dean lightly rolls his eyes and amends, "In some parts of the world, I'm sure." Heh. And long story short? The Widow Waters heaves a tired sigh and spills. A couple of weeks ago, she overheard her husband engaged in a heated conversation with someone named Linda on the phone, so she picked up the extension to eavesdrop, and was deeply unnerved to discover her husband was apparently yammering away at static. Sam attempts to elicit further information, but The Widow Waters has finally had enough and starts wailing about the utter meaninglessness of life, or something, so Our Intrepid Heroes head over to...

...this week's motel room, where Super-Smart El Deano's already found the lovely Linda's obituary online. Seems she and Dead Ben were high school sweethearts back in the day until a drunk driver hit their car head-on. Linda was killed instantly, of course, and Ben somehow managed to walk away without a scratch, but that's not what's so bizarre about the situation. No, what's really stumping Li'l Stumpy, here, is the fact that Linda was cremated, which means her ghost couldn't possibly have placed those calls to Dead Ben. Or could she? Muah ha ha ha ha ha! Sorry! Sorry. I'm just screwing with you, 'cause Dead Linda totally couldn't have made those phone calls, but Our Intrepid Heroes apparently had brain tumors for breakfast today, and so we've got to slog through the endless portion of this evening's entertainment in which they believe it might be possible for cremated bodies to place phone calls, starting here, with Darling Sammy identifying that "SHA 33"as an actual phone number, albeit one that shouldn't have seen use in over a hundred years, so it's off to...

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Supernatural

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