...The Ohio Bell Dungeon. Night's fallen, and The Ginormotron lumbers around in the shadows for a bit, spying on Slimy Stewie -- remember him? Yeah, neither did I -- through a window for a bit until the latter exits his lair for the evening. Sam hastily drops an urgent message into Dean's voice mail, then creeps across the lot to slam Slimy Stewie up Stewie's car, pressing a sharp, triangular blade up against the base of Stewie's skull as he does so. I'm so bored with this episode, I can't even muster the strength to warn Darling Sammy about the numerous diseases he's likely picking up off of Stewie's skank ass right this very instant. In any event, Stewie pleads pathetically for his life until...Bald Boss whacks Darling Sammy in the head with a baseball bat! "DEATH!" shrieks Raoul, appalled. "DEATH TO THE ONE WHO WOULD HARM THE FREAKISH CRO-MAGNON SKULL!" Don't worry, Raoul -- that part's coming. "Oh, thank heavens! I do apologize, I'm sure, but I find myself most distressed when whenever some heartless miscreant abuses that charming little lad!" I think I knew that already. So, uh, may I continue? "By all means!"Excellent. So, Slimy Stewie gloats over Darling Sammy's distressingly unconscious form, all, "Yeah! That's what happens when you mess with the phone company, dillweed!" Fortunately for everyone involved, Bald Boss swings the bat around one more time and knocks Stewie's vastly smaller cranium straight into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!
Dungeon, and if it's Thursday, Sam's lashed to a chair so this week's Creature Feature can speechify him to death. Or something like that. Slimy Stewie's strapped down in another chair, begging for his life, so of course "Clark" The Crocotta guts him like a fish. "VIOLENCE!" Raoul shrieks ecstatically. "WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE!" And then? After a moment, Slimy Stewie's head drops forward so a stream of blood might pour free from his mouth. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" While Raoul's writhing himself into a dizzying frenzy of joy over there on his overstuffed armchair, I should take a moment to note that when this episode first aired, the next bit made me leap forward in my seat, actually cackling in actual glee over what I thought was about to happen. See, no sooner has Slimy Stewie expelled his piddly little stream of blood than Clark The Croc bares row upon row of spiky fangs, only to next unhinge his lower jaw like he's going to inhale Stewie's head. Unfortunately, because this episode isn't anywhere near that exciting, The Croc simply inhales Stewie's immortal soul, or whatever, and wow. I guess that's yet another Reaper who's fallen asleep on her job, right?












