Of course, for her trouble, she receives little more than a harshly bellowed "Shut your frigging pie hole, you little slut!" by way of response. The other nuns simply gape and stare, for they are merely extras, while Sister Slapface, here, is pulling down the major day-player bucks. She begins to weep, sending that clumpy mascara down her over-rouged cheeks in tiny little rivulets of terror and despair as Father Schmidt picks up where he left off regarding the convent's unlikely location by allowing, "I suppose it makes sense -- folks forget my daddy is an angel, so I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought, 'I'm gonna build me a nun factory!'" Father Schmidt pauses to let that settle for a moment before grinning, "Right idea, wrong angel!" With that, he spins around to reach for something and...his eyes flip a sickly, marbled yellow! Dun-dun-DUN! Raoul leans forward in his overstuffed armchair in breathless anticipation as Father Ceiling Demon lifts a foot-long serrated knife from beneath the altar cloth and suggests, "If any of you gals are the praying type, now would be a good time to start." And then? "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Oh, look at Raoul, writhing about upon his overstuffed armchair with glee, when in fact there is no gore to be had in this sequence. "WHAT?!" Raoul shrieks, halting himself in mid-writhe and nearly throwing out his ancient lizardly back in the process. "NO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!?" Becalm yourself, my impressively fanged companion, and yes. There is no gore to be had in this sequence, because that runty little bastard we call The Kripkeeper has chosen instead to cut away discreetly to a carved angel in the hallway outside the chapel's barred door just as the screaming begins. "Why, that heartless BEAST!" Raoul roars, and honey. Volume. "Well, I am sorry, I'm sure, but why were we forced to endure the endless scene just passed if he...! If we...! If I...! [Wail!]" Buck up, Raoul. "[Sob!] WHY?! [Blubber!]" Because we get to see the gruesome aftermath later in the episode. "[Sniffle!] Really!? You're not...! [Hic!] You're not just saying that to make me feel better?! [Wibble!]" Of course not, friend of friends. Now here -- have a Kleenex and dry those eyes, for it's time for the final...
Episode Report CardDemian: A- | 2895 USERS: B+
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