Another Frigging Coven. And, wow. I don't give a shit about any of these people, so let's keep this short: That "book club" Elizabeth mentioned earlier to Horsey Amanda? Is actually a Book Of Shadows Club, whose members also include an unremarkable blonde named Renee and a chic little sassily bobbed brunette named Tammi, so we know Tammi's the evil one. "You can tell by her positively diabolical French manicure!" Raoul agrees. To be perfectly honest, though, they're actually trying to push the rather selfish and amoral Renee as the dark demonic force in this situation, but I'm not buying it, because she's being too obvious about it. Anywho, Elizabeth enters Renee's tastefully appointed parlor for another Book Of Shadows Club meeting, but she's terribly unnerved and distressed over the untimely demise of both Dead Janet and the Horsey Amanda who killed her, and so wants to shut Book Of Shadows Club down. Tammi and Renee -- but most especially Renee -- talk Elizabeth out of this silly little notion, partly by insisting that Horsey Amanda was batshit insane and therefore not truly representative of Book Of Shadows Club's purpose and intent, but mainly by reminding Elizabeth of all the material gains they've enjoyed since the club began. So, long story short, they're all greedy little WASP women who deserve the gruesome deaths this episode has waiting for them at the end. Agreed? Excellent. Because when they kneel around Renee's coffee table, clasp hands, and start chanting, I find myself flung into an acid flashback involving wonky eyes, cooter tats, spasmodic twitching, and Brian Krause, and so am eager to fast-forward to the next scene.
Ah. That's better. The next day, Our Intrepid Heroes saunter on up to Elizabeth -- who's tending once again to her worm-infested garden, natch -- and introduce themselves as Detectives Bachman and Turner, there to pepper the late Horsey Amanda's friends and neighbors with questions regarding the deceased's last days on earth. First, though, Darling Sammy goes out of his way to compliment Elizabeth on her mad gardening skillz. "Getting these herbs to grow out of season like this?" he offers, spinning a finger around above the herbs in question. "It's quite impressive." Elizabeth rather non-subtly freaks, because she is of course harnessing all the forces of Hell to keep her shrubbery green through the cruel winter months. Or something like that. Our Intrepid Heroes then proceed to blow little Lizzie's mind by revealing that they know all about the astonishing variety of disgusting tools of the voodoo trade Horsey Amanda kept in her house, and wonder if Little Lizzie might be able to shed some further light on the matter. Little Lizzie's about to fold like a cheap suit when Renee and Tammi materialize from nowhere to stand on either side of their friend and co-conspirator, and the two arrivals -- Renee in particular -- manage with masterful amounts of efficiency to freeze the now supremely suspicious boys right out of the neighborhood. Next!












