Supernatural
Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: F | 379 USERS: D+
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The Worst Thing Ever

That night, James is confined to his bedroom. Sam's gotten a call back from Stoltz and learned that the blood matches the third victim's. Things don't look good for James and they're about to get a whole lot worse... for us, the viewers. Portia, in her sexy nightie and collar, chains up her master. "I hate doing this to you," she says. She suggests they skip the chains and just not tell Sam and Dean. "I have to do the right thing," James says. She lies down next to him and rests her head on his chest. "I love you," she says. They kiss and then totally start having sex. Romantic music plays while I try to keep from vomiting. They're both very attractive actors, but their characters are dog and master. They can call her a "familiar," she can spend half her time as a human being, but she's still a dog the other half of the time. The first time we saw her, she was lying on the floor, whimpering. She was wearing a dog collar. She is still wearing a dog collar. Good Lord, what if she gets pregnant? Do they come out puppies? I can't think about this anymore. While Portia and James are in the throes of their forbidden passion, Portia suddenly sees the horrible murders as James has seen them.

Dean and Sam sneak into James's house, a bottle of their witch-killing brew at the ready. When they push into James's bedroom, they find him blessedly alone. Portia runs in from the bathroom just as Dean flicks on his lighter. She screams. "No! Dean, please, you have to listen to me. It's not James!"

She takes the brothers into the living room to explain. "Tonight, James and I were close," she says. "Without psychological walls." The brothers give her confused stares. "Intimate," she goes on. Dean the moron still doesn't have a clue what she's talking about. "They had sex," Sam explains. Dean's face can't quite decide what it should be expressing. He finally says, "Wow! I wasn't expecting that!" Portia admits she and James have an unusual relationship, because witches and their familiars aren't supposed to be involved like that. Dean tries to express dismay at the whole dog/human thing, but the others look at him like he's the weirdo. Portia says tonight was the first time they've been together in weeks. She saw his thoughts, but there were only kills without context. She didn't sense any thought or motive on his part, suggesting that someone else is controlling him. She pleads with the brothers to give James a chance.

Supernatural

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