Supernatural
Man's Best Friend With Benefits

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: F | 44 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Worst Thing Ever

Sam and Dean clomp into the lounge, loudly announcing their arrival instead of just sneaking in like they should have. "So, James didn't kill those --" Not surprisingly, Dean is cut off before he can finish asking his question. Spencer flings them across the room with a wave of his hand. James flings some lightning at Spencer, but it has little effect. Spencer magically lifts James off the ground. Just when the brothers are getting back on their feet, Spencer freezes them in place. "It's not only James's head I can get inside," he says. He treats the boys to various flashbacks. Sam remembers falling into the pit with Michael, his face catching on fire inside the cage. Dean remembers his mother dying, sees himself in Hell with the hooks tearing into his flesh. Some of these things they shouldn't be able to remember, but whatever. It's one of the few tolerable things about this episode.

While Spencer is distracted, Portia comes charging in on all fours and knocks him to the ground. She goes for his ridiculous tie. Spencer throws her across the floor, but she's bought the Winchesters enough time to ready their witch-killing brew. They light it and throw it at Spencer like a magical Molotov cocktail. Smoke swirls around him, tightens around his body until he explodes in red vapor. James rushes over to embrace Portia, who has resumed her human form. "Kids, don't try this at home," Dean says to nobody, for no reason.

Denouement. The surviving characters gather outside the Sleepy Lodge for goodbyes. James and Portia have decided to leave town, seeing as how Ed Stoltz has built such a strong case against him. There has to be some way to magically fix all that, but they're not interested in thinking about it, and neither am I. "I'll miss you," Portia says to Sam. To Dean: "Maybe even you." She's got that damned collar on over her turtleneck sweater. Why the collar at all? Clearly it's not to hold name tags or rabies tags. Probably someone (writers, directors, the devil) wanted a quick visual queue to link Portia's human and canine personae, even though the same could have been accomplished with a necklace like Philippe's. It's just ugly, and I don't just mean sartorially. Anyway, as a parting defense, Dean says, "I like dogs!" Portia smiles at him and says, "No, you really don't." As she gets into the car, she changes back into a Doberman. That's going to make it a lot harder to play road trip games.

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Supernatural

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