Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Face The Strange Ch-Ch-Changes

A distracted Jack is in the garden, watering one plant to death. I hope Michelle locked him out of the house. Sam and Dean approach, and Sam, who got a hairdo on the car ride over and now looks like a (very pretty) rent boy, introduces himself and his brother. Using their real names! Get me the smelling salts, Myrtle. The boys give Jack a rundown of the symptoms, but he can't wrap his mind around the fact that he's a Rugaru. He can wrap his teeth around it, though. Sam goes on to explain Sam's "real" father was a Rugaru and passed it onto him. Yes, he said "real." No, Mr. Sensitive didn't have the presence of mind to say biological. Dean tries to break through Jack's already well-honed sense of denial. "You're hungry Jack and you're just going to get hungrier." Jack asks what for, which ought to answer his doubts right there. Dean says, "Long pig," because he loves that term so much, but then he embellishes. "You know, a little man-burger helper. May have crossed your mind already." Jack denies this, but being a lying liar who lies to two professional LYING LIARS WHO LIE is futile. Sam encourages Jack to face it and fight it off. Dean lets Jack know how hard it's going to be, but that he's got to, or... Jack asks, "Or what." Sam says, "You feed once and it's all over. And then we'll have to stop you." Ladies and gentlemen, I think Sammy just turned a corner. Regardless, his answer makes Jack angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. "Stop me? My dad, did uh... somebody stop him?" When Sam confirms this, Jack orders them off his property and arouses the attention of a neighbor, whom we'll never again see, so I don't know why I just mentioned him. Sam and Dean finally take the hint and leave, and Dean tells Sam, "Good talk." These boys are so bitchy this week. It's more delicious than man-burger helper.

That night, Jack sits on a city bench, listening to desperate cell phone voice mail messages from Michelle. He looks up at the apartment building across the street and spies an attractive woman getting undressed... in front of her window. Did she not have a mother? A grandmother? Neighbors? What the heck, lady. Draw the blinds, close the curtains or something. Oh, she heard me. Hi, lady. You're the first one this episode. Thank you for acknowledging I exist. Now look out, or you're going to get the inside scoop on what makes a Rugaru a Rugaru. Jack's hungry. Or sexually aroused. We already know he can't discern the difference. He heads towards the woman's fire escape. Lucky for her Sam and Dean are sitting in Baby, watching his every move. They grab their blow torches and head out, while Jack scales the fire escape like it's kindergarten-sized monkey bars. They lose sight of him, so they head inside the building, which is conveniently free of either conventional locks or those buzzer contraptions. Jack's appeteaser is just in her black bra and panties, now. Oops, there goes the bra. Perched on her terrace, he watches her from behind. She slips on her nightshirt and shuts off the light. This gives Jack a look at his own reflection. He gasps, "No, no" and turns away. Meanwhile, our intrepid heroes bust down the appeteaser's door and scare the life out of her. She screams. Dean says, "Wait! Wuuh, we're here. To save you. I guess." From the other room, the appeteaser screams that she's calling the police. Sam points out they should go, and Dean agrees. They exit, then Dean comes back to shut the door, with a Cheshire Cat grin on his face. Who's going to fix that busted up doorframe, Mr. Considerate?

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