Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Face The Strange Ch-Ch-Changes

Back at the motel, Travis explains that one bite is all it takes and the person's eyes, teeth and skin all turn -- they're a monster forever. Dean wants to know how Travis caught onto Jack, since he's still a walking, talking human. It runs in the family and Travis killed Jack's father back in 1978, after he mangled eight bodies. The guy used to be a dentist who drove a Cadillac and had a pregnant trophy wife. Oh my word, I think that's my dentist. I am so not surprised. Travis tells the boys that the wife put the baby up for adoption, and he was lost in the system before he found out. Sam knows secrets and lies when he hears them. "You mean to tell me you couldn't find someone?" Travis's face goes all soft. He's not sure he wanted to. He didn't have the heart to hunt down some poor kid. He waited to make sure he had the right man. So, wait. Now he's not only called my dentist's wife a trophy wife; he's impugning her fidelity? She's a dentist too, you sexist. He ignores me, as he confirms he has the right man and takes a swig of his beer. Jack totally ought to eat you alive, Travis, for talking about my dentist's's biological mother like that.

Jack is at a bar, eating the place clean of peanuts. I buy the house a round because just this far into the episode Sam and Dean have already heard about a creature right out of the annals of folklore; gone on a road trip to investigate it -- together; and they've done some research, and surveillance. If we're lucky children, they may actually hunt it before the episode is through. This is exactly like that show Supernatural. I love it. Oh, sorry. Back to Jack. We see a shot of blood cells coursing through veins. We cut to Jack's memory of Michelle's bloody finger, then the blood cells, then Michelle's bloody finger. Jack empties his drink and orders another nicely enough, but while the bartender is pouring, Jack gets snotty as he asks for more peanuts. He catches sight of himself in the mirror behind the bar and breathes heavily. I don't want to go there. Down at the end of the bar, some loud mouth is trying to pick up a woman who's way out of his league and he's refusing to get the hint that she's not interested. Jack's rearing to go at it with someone. "Hey douche bag, she doesn't want to talk to you." Thanks, Jack. I was wondering what to call the other guy. DB it is. When DB makes like he couldn't hear Jack, Jack makes his approach. "I said she doesn't want to talk to you, you fat. sweaty. dick. Now leave her alone." Okay, Jack, I suppose the D in DB can stand for Dick. DB is a pretty big guy, and he asks Jack if he really wants to do this. Jack makes it known he's in a Bring-It kind of mood, so DB swings at Jack, who grabs his fist and bends it completely freaking back! Ew. I mean completely. There are snapping sounds. There is BONE sticking out the bottom and oh my... ring ring. Hello? "GOOOOOOOOORE!" Oh, Raoul. Hi. "GOOOOOOOOORE!" Yes, I know, I'm just writing about it. "Well, I was afraid you'd be so shocked by the appalling language that you might miss it, and gore like that is not to be missed." Okay, Raoul. "Did you happen to mention the fabulous bit of bone sticking out of the bottom?" I did, dear. I've gotta go, now. Give my love to Demian, please. Sorry, everyone. DB cries in pain and horror and Jack hotfoots it out of the bar before he's caught by the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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