The episode, shot in black and white, opens like an old time horror film, from the WB shield to the credits. It was a dark and stormy night -- no, really. Dean and Sam are on the road again, this time, on their way to Pennsylvania, discussing their latest case -- a dead victim with bite marks on her neck, her body drained of blood. And there's a witness, Ed Brewer, who swears the perpetrator was a vampire, but not just any old vampire -- Dracula.

The next day, the Winchesters visit the local Oktoberfest. Big pretzels, foamy beer, and beautiful St. Pauli Girls. Dean was in hell, but he's in heaven now. Heck, Sam even eats. Posing as G-Men Angus and Young, they meet up with the local law -- Sheriff Dietrich, who implies Ed Brewer has bats in his belfry. Not long after, a young man who is out necking with his sweetheart is killed by a werewolf, but not just any old werewolf -- Wolf Man. Next, a security guard at the local museum is killed by a mummy, but not just any old mummy -- okay, it is just any old mummy, but it got its sarcophagus from a prop house in Philly and brought its own dry ice for atmosphere.

Dean is trying to make time with a pretty bartender named Jamie, but she's busy with her friend Lucy (yeah, Lucy), the first night he asks her out. The second night, she's free, but he's late (still at the aforementioned museum). She decides not to wait any longer for Dean, and starts to walk home, when she is confronted by Dracula himself, who calls her Mina. He tells her he must have her and moves in, but Jamie douses his eyes with pepper spray (a resourceful woman who isn't Ellen -- on Supernatural!) and runs off and into Dean. Dracula confronts them again and he and Dean fight. Dean commands Jamie to run, and being smart as well as resourceful, she does. Drac and Dean scuffle some more, and as Drac moves in to suck Dean's blood, Dean pulls off Drac's medallion (also from a prop shop), and his ear (from his head)! Drac escapes Dean by hopping a fence Dean can't scale, and makes his escape on a Vespa, which causes me to make liberal use of the pause and rewind buttons on my DVR remote.

Sam catches up with Dean and Jamie at the bierhaus and they determine their monster is a shape shifter. Ed Brewer's their prime suspect. Sam goes off to the theatre where Ed works, while Dean stays behind to take care of Jamie if you know what I mean, and I think you do. They're interrupted by Lucy, who just came back for a bottle of booze. Jamie asks her to stay and have a drink with them, which just thrills Dean. She stays, and she slips them a mickey, too. As Jamie starts to lose consciousness, Dean catches on, realizes Lucy is the shape shifter and goes down fighting, but he goes down just the same -- although not in the way he'd hoped. Meanwhile, Sam walks in on Ed playing the Casio in his undies, and tries to pull of his ear, but it just won't come off. The less said, the better.

When Sam returns to the bierhaus, Dean and Jamie (and Lucy) are gone. Sam sees signs of a struggle, and a lipsticked napkin and realizes Lucy is the monster. Lucy's house is part regular old house, part Frankenstein's Castle/Dracula's Castle, and no I don't get it either, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that she has Dean strapped to a Frankensteiny table, and she's stripped him and redressed him in lederhosen! No. Really. By the by, Lucy's just another shape the shifter takes; now he's back to his Dracula form, and he's going to electrocute Dean when he's interrupted by a pizza delivery. I am not making this up. He forces Jamie to dress up in a gown, and then exposits about his sad life and love of movies and monsters to the point where Jamie figures out he's lonely, and the pizza's all cold. DracShifter seems to think loneliness is a valid reason for killing people. Silly shifter, you don't kill people when you're lonely; you kill them when they won't leave you alone. Hi, Raoul. Sam breaks in, finds Dean, calls him Hansel, laughs at his lederhosen, and releases him. Nice multi-tasking, Sammy!

Our intrepid heroes find DracShifter and struggle with him. He throws Sam through a fake wall and knocks Dean to the ground. It looks like all is lost, when Jamie recovers Sam's gun, and shoots the monster. He says, "Silver?" which is key, because that's what kills shifters, and turns to face his love as he takes his sweet time dying. "Twas Beauty that killed the Beast. No, Mina, do not weep." He staggers back a few steps and takes a seat. "Perhaps this is how the movie should end."

The next day, Dean kisses (and kisses and kisses) Jamie goodbye, as Sam stands around, awkwardly (longing for Ruby, perhaps). Dean says it feels good to be back on the job. "The hero gets the girl; the monster gets the gank. All in all? Happy ending -- with a happy ending, no less." But wait, Jamie killed the monster and Dean's the one with the hymen. Is he the girl, here? Wait, as Sam already knows Dean admits that if he could make his life into a movie, it would be Porky's II. He's all boy.

Next week, something happens that I can't even describe. Seriously, did you see that preview? What the heck was that? The recap will be out in a few days to tide you over. 'Til then, I bid you gud eeevening, gentle readers.