Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 3 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Do The Monster Mash

Sam arrives at the Goethe Theatre, where Phantom of the Opera is currently on the marquee. Inside the theater, we see the shadow of someone playing standard issue horror movie music on the organ. Sam is mesmerized by whatever it is he can see that we can't. We see the back of the person -- it's Ed, clearly -- he flips a switch on the organ and it starts playing awful, zippy, jazzy schmaltz. Ed is wearing only a wife-beater and undershorts, which I can't identify as either boxers or briefs, because I don't want to look at him that long. I'm already suffering a case of conjunctivitis and it's too much of a shock to the eyes to go from the pretty Padalecki and Ackles to... that. Sam sneaks up behind him, startles him, and pulls a gun on him. The chair somehow goes flying and Sam pins Ed up against the organ. Stop it. Sam says he knows what Ed did and what he is. Poor Ed doesn't know what's going on. Sam says, "You had time to grow the ear back, huh," and grabs hold and pulls with all his might. Ed hollers in pain. Sam finally stops pulling, and lowers his gun. "It's supposed to come off." Ed takes a firm tone, "No. It's not." Sam makes an oops face, and we cut to...

The bierhaus. Lucy is commiserating with Dean and Jamie over their not so gud eeevening. Jamie, who is suddenly terribly drunk, assures Lucy that she's fine and praises Dean's rescue of her. As Dean (who is not feeling any pain either) demurs, Lucy again blots her lipstick, and leaves the bar napkin under her glass. I THINK THEY'RE TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING. WHATEVER COULD IT BE? Dean notices that Jamie seems to be fading out on him. He tries to talk to her, but Lucy distracts him, asking him if he's a black belt or something. Dean looks at his glass, which is spinning with the classic kaleidoscope effect of yore. While she's talking, Dean realizes what's going on, and hauls off and punches Lucy in the face. He pushes Jamie out of the way so he can get out of the booth, and she passes out on the seat after he's up. He staggers over Lucy, who is flat out on the floor. "It's you, isn't it?" She looks up and her jaw is about 3 inches further to her left than it ought to be. She shoves it back in place, rises and backs away, watching him expectantly. Dean is struggling to remain conscious. He kicks her, demands to know what she put in their drinks, grabs a bottle and breaks it, so he can use it as a weapon. He says, "I'll skin you myself," and falls smack down on his beautiful face. Lucy stands over him, says, "And, scene," and starts to bring her foot down onto his head, when we, like Dean, fade to black.

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