Supernatural

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Demian: A- | 7 USERS: B
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What The Hardy Boys Impose, That Men Must Needs Abide

Moments later, Sam's mad Googling skillz have managed to call up the Titanic's entry on a Wikipedia-esque site known as "The Marconi Pages," from which Sam desultorily reads off the boring particulars of the ship, with the only item of interest being the fact that the Titanic "almost hit an iceberg" on its maiden voyage. "Looks like the first mate spotted it in time," Sam shrugs before pulling himself up short with a curt "Wait a second!" because that first mate's name? "Mr. I. P. Freely." "That's not suspicious," Dean smirks from the bed before rising to join Sam at the laptop, upon which the two almost immediately find a photograph of said Mr. Freely, and it's Belthazor. "Son of a bitch!" I'm sure Dean spits at this juncture, and with little ado, Our Intrepid Heroes summon the erstwhile archangel in question to their motel room.

"Whatever can I do for you?" Belthazor politely inquires once he's fluttered on in from points unknown. "The hell with the boat?" Dean immediately demands. "What boat?" Belthazor too-innocently wonders. "The Titanic!" Sam pissily prompts. "Oh, yeah," Belthazor casually nods. "Well, it was meant to sink," he continues, all studiously nonchalant and such, "and I saved it -- anything else I can answer for you?" "Why?" Sam snaps. "Because I hated the movie." HA! Our Intrepid Heroes pause for a moment to take that in, then Sam incredulously begins, "So you save a cruise liner because...?" "Because that god-awful Celine Dion song made me want to smite myself." That seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation, doesn't it? "Indeed! [Slurp!] That song is hateful!" You do not lie, my scaly friend. You do not lie. "Hee! [Slurp!]"

The upshot of the generally amusing conversation that follows is this: The rules that normally would have prevented Belthazor from altering the past no longer exist thanks to last season's abortive Apocalypse, so there was nothing to stop him from "un-sinking" the Titanic back in 1912 -- an act which then "butterfly-effected" all subsequent events thanks partly to the fact that upwards of 1500 dead people were reinserted into the timeline, but mainly to the fact that those 1500 ended up providing the world with around 50,000 descendants who should never have been born in the first place. As a result, while major events like the abortive Apocalypse still occurred, innumerable smaller ones did not, or occurred with somewhat different outcomes, so now Celine Dion's "a destitute lounge singer somewhere in Quebec" and Donald Trump's building casinos in Havana and Chevrolet never developed the Impala and Sam's throwing Paper instead of Rock and Ellen and Jo Harvelle are still alive. Referencing the latter point, Belthazor suggests, "Let's agree I did a good thing: One less Billy Zane movie, and I saved two of your closest friends!" "But now somebody is killing the descendants of the survivors!" Sam protests. "And...?" Belthazor replies. "And we need to save as many as we can!" Dean shouts. "Sorry," Belthazor smirks, though of course he's not terribly sorry in the least. "You have me confused with the other angel -- you know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you?" Heh. "I don't care!" he reminds them, and with that, he flutters away. "Son of a bitch!" I'm sure Dean rages once again, and the next thing we know...

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Supernatural

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