Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 14 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Freeze Their Butts Off Waiting To Worship A Rat

...a scene taking place far later that evening. Back in their civvies, the boys stroll down this tiny little burg's main drag, and Dean eventually arrives at the brilliant realization that if they manage to prevent his untimely demise, the time loop -- or whatever the hell it is -- will be broken, and Darling Sammy can progress peacefully into Wednesday. College Boy's nearly as grateful as I am that somebody finally considered this solution, and agrees to snag some takeout and head back to the motel to wait for midnight. Dean's all, "Excellent!" and heads off to rustle up some Chinese when he's flattened by an oversized desk dropping out of the sky! "VIOLENCE!" Yep, those two dunderheaded meatballs from the moving company were in the middle of hoisting the desk up through one of the storefront's second-storey windows when the rope snapped, and now Li'l Stumpy's even shorter than he was before. Well, I'm pretty sure, even though all we see of his rapidly cooling corpse are his shins and feet sticking out from beneath the shattered piece of furniture like he's The Wicked Witch Of The East in The Wizard Of Oz. The soundtrack goofily wock-chicka-wockas as the camera rises far above the depressingly bloodless carnage on the sidewalk to take in The Ginormotron's little-boy-lost expression of helplessness and dismay until...

..."Heat of the moment!" Sam snaps open his eyes and slowly sits up in bed. "Rise and shine, Sammy!" Just as slowly as he'd risen, Darling (And Over It) Sammy sinks back down against the pillows, and the camera crawls all the way up his unnaturally large left nostril until it emerges into a commercial break most woefully CHOMP!-less.

Diner. "I still think you're nuts," a wide-eyed Dean offers, mid-conversation, "but whatever this is, we'll figure it out." Pained Sam clenches and thanks him, and the two decide for what is obviously the tenth time to try to keep Dean alive until midnight, despite the fact that Darling Sammy's been through all of this "a few times" already, and nothing he's done so far has affected this Tuesday's outcome. "Nothing's set in stone," Dean counters before confirming, "You say I order the same thing every day?" "Yup," Sam replies, so Dean calls out to Doris, "'Scuse me, sweetheart? Can I get sausage instead of bacon?" and this is certain to end in nothing more than inappropriate snickering, yes? I mean, we all do see where this is going, right? "Right!" shrieks Raoul. "And it's making me nervous!" In the best possible way, I'm sure. "Absolutely!" So, Doris places Dean's altered order in front of him, Dean chokes on a sausage, and it's all over for your faithful recapper and his scaly friend, for the two of us have descended into a fit of filthy giggles that doesn't even begin to stop until...

..."Heat of the moment!" Sam snaps open his eyes and slowly sits up in bed, and Raoul and I are still...hee! "'ACK! ACK! Honey, what do you think I am?!'" Oh, you did not just go there. "That's what Dean said!" Disgusting! "Hee!"

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