Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 5 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Meet Nancy Drew

...Jo, chatting casually with the building's superintendent. D'OH! Jo quickly scoots to Dean's side to pretend they're a couple interested in renting the apartment the boys had just exited. Dean unhappily and gruffly plays along with the charade until, long story short, Jo shoves a wad of bills into the superintendent's hand. "We'll take it," she smiles.

Back in their new, spooge-bedecked apartment, Jo and Dean tear at each other's throats while darling Sammy squirms around uncomfortably in the background. Jo LIED to Ellen about heading to Vegas, because Jo, too, is a LYING LIAR WHO LIES. She also managed to have Ash lay a credit-card trail between Nebraska and Nevada to back up her story, but Dean's having none of it. "You shouldn't lie to your mom, and you shouldn't be here, either." "Well, I am," Jo retorts, "so untwist your boxers and deal with it." "Where'd you get all that money from?" Sam too-casually wonders, changing the subject. "Working," Jo duhs, "at the roadhouse." "Hunters don't tip that well," Dean scoffs. "And they're not too good at poker, either," Jo sasses. Busting in on the scene to interrupt all of this delightful banter is the ringtone on Dean's phone, which reliable sources assure me is Black Sabbath's "Paranoid." "Yeah?" he answers testily. "Is she with you?" Ellen immediately demands. Dean and Jo hurtle into a hasty little mutual hissyfit before Dean LIES, "I haven't seen her." "Well, please," Ellen requests, "if she shows up, you'll drag her butt back here, right?" "Absolutely!" Dean LIES again. They sign off, and Jo offers him a bright conspiratorial smile. Ellen's going to rip these dolts to pieces when she finds out what they've done, and believe me, they'll both deserve it.

A little later, Jo's seated with Sam at the kitchen table, futzing with a small knife above a set of blueprints as she narrates, "This place was built in 1924. It was originally a warehouse, converted into apartments a few months ago." At Dean's prompting, she goes on to reveal that prior to 1924, the building's site was a vacant lot. Sam immediately leaps to conclusions and guesses that someone met a particularly violent end in the warehouse itself, but Jo's already checked out that angle, and no go. "Zero violent deaths, unless you count a janitor who slipped on a wet floor." "Would you sit down, please?" she suddenly asks of Dean, who'd been restlessly pacing the floor behind her, and I mention it only because people lurking around behind my back happens to be the most enormous of my pet peeves. Seriously, it makes me frantic with angst. We've got a stupid open-plan office, and they recently rearranged all of the goddamned desks without asking for input beforehand, and I spent the entire Monday afterwards crawling out of my...what's that? You couldn't give a flying rat's ass about my workplace drama, and would instead like me to return to the episode? I can do that, but mind you, because The Kripkeeper's been so widely publicizing the identity of tonight's villain for the last month and a half, this scene is so incredibly boring, I'm almost wishing they'd hand Raoul another opportunity to make tasteless masturbation jokes about the demonic spooge still littering this apartment nearly a month after its most recent previous occupant disappeared. In any event, the gang's next best guess is that a "cursed object" dragged a chronically lonely and hideously unsanitary spirit along with it, so the trio splits up to rove the building's halls while waving EMF readers around, like that won't be incredibly obvious and suspicious to the other tenants at all!

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