Rattle, Rattle THE ROAD SO FAR! Ah, Kansas. The unmistakable opening wails of "Carry On Wayward Son" hit the soundtrack as the Impala grumbles out of the blackness to roar towards the audience, and while I was worried about this song's overuse prior to the finale's airing -- especially after taking into account its disappointing appearance in last season's last episode -- I'm feeling better about it, especially now that I know there most certainly will not be peace for Our Intrepid Heroes when they are done tonight. So, as the song plays beneath -- and if I've got all of this right -- Our Dear And Soon To Be Sucking It Boys burst through a door to find an entire slothful family mummified on their sofa in front of a Dallas rerun before Deadly Action Sammy, as part of this season's most awesome kill, tightens a length of razor wire around Whackjob Gordon's neck until the latter's damn fool vampiric head pops right the hell off of his body. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, writhing about with delight upon his overstuffed armchair, for he's always happy to witness that excellent scene all over again. "Indeed!" In the far less impressive sequences that follow, Dashing El Deano plunges The Knife That Can Kill Anything (And Actually Does) repeatedly into Demonic Piper's back before both of these strapping young gentlemen blast a few rounds of rock salt into the unfortunate possessed of Monument, Colorado. Darling Sammy ruefully and guiltily sneaks sad little side glances at his doomed yet defiant brother for a bit, and Dean endures an acid flashback that somehow involves both Mama Cass and an incredibly bendy yoga instructor on a picnic blanket before he aerates some vampire's skull with The Fucking Colt That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't. As the song's opening lyrics give way to the initial instrumental bits, we're reminded of the deal Dean made with the delightful Ona Grauer in last season's finale, and also of Darling Sammy's failed attempt to cancel said deal by shooting Jared Padalecki's adorable fiancée in the face. Demonic Piper resurrects her dead ass to chit-chat about The Wicked Witch Of The West, and Ruby's off-camera sneer introduces everyone to Lilith just as that preadolescent monstrosity's eyes flip a milky, opaque white as she raises one of her creepy preadolescent hands to flood a tiny Colorado precinct house with a horribly brilliant light.
Episode Report CardDemian: A- | 2165 USERS: B
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