...SNOT ROCKET! Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon remains missing, and I'm afraid I have no update on the search for the dear, dizzy lizard, but thanks to a canny and wise suggestion from the lovely and talented Vaya on the forum boards, I'll be spending my Easter weekend papering the nail salons of Bay Ridge with the scaly little bastard's missing person poster. Why I didn't think of this before I'll never know, but thanks for the idea, Vaya! Though if I find out after all these months that he's been posing as a manicurist for whatever godawful and scatterbrained reason, I'll kill him myself.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes: After the dripping is done, the opening beats of Bel Biv DeVoe's "Poison" herald the return of the reprehensible DJ Qualls to the Supernatural screen and oh my God, I want to punch my fist through my television set right now. I think the last time he was on the show, I did a pretty good job of ignoring his presence throughout the recap, but that's going to be near impossible tonight, especially because the next four minutes of screen time are devoted to his hunt for the mysterious something that disemboweled Fugly Monster Chow during the pre-credits sequence. Can I just say he fails miserably in this relatively simple task he's set for himself and leave it at that? Huh? Please? Please?

Well, shit.

So, the repugnant DJ Qualls slides his shitty seventh generation Ford Ranchero into a parking spot outside the Burger Heaven on Tenth Street in New Westminster, British Columbia, and now they're not even trying with the goddamned locations anymore and why did no one cancel this fucking awful, evil show after the end of the fifth season? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYY?