We'll let the title card answer that one for you, hon. "Jericho, California" pops up a the bottom of the screen while the headlights of what appears to be a convertible Volkswagen Golf head straight for the camera before we duck inside the car, where we find some dimwitted Norbert of a geek begging off an evening of scandalously sinful premarital sexual activity, which was to have been hosted by his girlfriend, Amy. At that moment, Norbert spots some white-clad chick wandering through the underbrush alongside the road, and hangs up on the girlfriend to investigate. Dude must have shitty night vision, because this chick's blinking in and out like the monster from The Ring, and everybody knows you don't pull over to the side of the road in the middle of the night on Halloween to offer rides to monsters from the movies. Actually, now that I think about it, his night vision's probably fine. He's just a dumbass. As he approaches, the dumbass's car stereo wonks out, due to what I'm guessing is that mysterious EBP stuff, but even that fails to deter him from his asinine quest. He eases the Volkswagen to the side of the road and calls out, "Car trouble?" Ring Lady, who's sporting a slightly shredded white cotton camisole over a flowy white peasant skirt, lets her long dark locks flutter in the breeze for a moment before whimpering, "Take me home?" "Sure!" the soon-to-be-dead idiot smooves. "Get in!" he offers, pushing open the passenger-side door. Ring Lady -- who's barefoot on top of everything else, like, duuuuuh, Norbert -- swivels her hips, saunters saucily over to the Golf, and slithers into the passenger seat. In an inexplicably nice touch, we see only the silhouette of Norbert's head through the rear window -- nice because it's creepy, inexplicable because it doesn't make any fucking sense. From this new and inexplicable perspective of ours, the passenger-side door shuts seemingly of its own accord, but Norbert of course is under the impression that Ring Lady pulled it closed. "So where do you live?" he asks of her heaving bosom. Her heaving bosom remains silent, choosing instead to...not inflate and collapse, exactly. More like inflate and inflate some more. Fortunately for the plot's sake, Ring Lady decides to answer for her heaving bosom and breathes, "At the end of Breckinridge Road." And because I'm sick of typing the italics tags, she is now "Myra." And if that's the case: Hoo-boy but Norbert's in for a big surprise when he finally gets his hand up that peasant skirt, isn't he?
Episode Report CardDemian: A | 1037 USERS: B
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