Anyway, Dean initially pleads for his life, but after Castiel rearranges his insides with a mighty boot to the gut, Our Thankless Wretch just lies there in the gutter, pathetically snarling at My Righteous Baboo to finish him off, already. Castiel's not about to give Dean that pleasure, thank you very much, and instead zaps the beaten, bloodied mess into unconsciousness with a light tap of his magical fingertips, after which the angel stands brooding for a very long moment over his prodigal charge. Next!

Emporium. Adam has, of course, escaped, which has sent The Ginormotron into a frenzied tizzy of truly epic proportions. Before he gets a chance to go all SAM SMASH! on The Emporium's priceless antiques, however, Castiel angrily flutters in with the still-unconscious Dean to surmise, correctly, that Adam must have tipped Zachariah off to his location. "Well, where would they have taken him?" Sam asks. Why...

...Heaven's Greenroom, of course! Marvelous Master Milligan loafs around beneath the frivolous Fragonards, merrily munching away on a stack of delicious-looking bacon double cheeseburgers from that seaside shack in Delaware, and if I'm remembering the consensus reached on the boards after last season's finale correctly, the fact that Adam is actually partaking of Heaven's comestibles likely means that Adam is now officially fucked. Oh, Adam. I hope your bacon double cheeseburger is freakin' worth it. Just as Marvelous Master Milligan's taken yet another whopping big bite, Zachariah materializes to condescend, "I see you and your brother share the same refined palate!" and Zachariah, darling? You make it awfully difficult to root for you when you denigrate the cheeseburgers. Just saying. In any event, what follows Zachariah's snide entrance is exactly what we've been expecting all along: Adam learns everything he's been told about his role in The Neverending Apocalypse is a lie. "You're not so much the chosen one," Zachariah smirks, "as you are a clammy scrap of bait." "I'm supposed to fight the devil!" Adam dimly protests. "Yeah, not so much," Zachariah sneers. "But if it's any consolation, you happen to be the illegitimate half-brother of the guy we do care about!" You see, the angels have known all along that Dean has but one blind spot, and that's his overpowering desire to protect his family. By dangling the resurrected Adam in front of Dean's nose and then snatching the slackjawed dupe away, Zachariah's pretty much guaranteed Dean will risk life and limb to track Adam down and save him, and that means Zachariah will at last have Dean exactly where he wants him. "This is the night, kid!" Zachariah exults. "The tumblers finally click into place, and it's all because of you!" "Yeah, I'm not gonna let you do this," Adam defiantly vows, and oh, Adam. Oh, stupid, stupid Adam. That stalwart little threat has barely flown from his lips when Zachariah flaps a hand around, and now the adorable little bastard's vomiting up blood thanks to a severe attack of angelically provided Ebola. "ZZZZZZ -- gooooooooooooore! -- ZZZZZZ!"