Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 1 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys and the Art of Getting Laid

A few more shots of the pretty awesomely made-up little girl ghost advancing on Sam and Sarah, who finally stumble into the fireplace tools and realize they're probably iron. The girl's head does that Jacob's Ladder spazz-out as she opens her mouth to scream and Sam towers over her and whacks her through with the fireplace poker. She disappears for a second. Back on their cell phones, Sam and Dean are confused about how the girl's spirit is still around, since she was cremated. Sarah jumps in and starts jabbering about antique dolls. Sam dismisses her at first (jerk!), but then it becomes clear that the doll in the mausoleum probably has the girl's real hair, and needs to be destroyed. Dean rushes off, and the wind kicks up in the house again.

The Metallicar races. Sam gets taken out and pinned by a huge wooden desk slamming into him. In the mausoleum, Dean tries to break the glass with the butt of his gun, and nearly leaves to find something stronger before realizing he can just shoot the glass out. Sarah gets thrown into a wall. Sugar and Spice looms over her. Dean has trouble getting his lighter to work. Sugar and Spice flashes her razor and creeps toward Sarah. Dean finally lights the doll's hair on fire. Sugar and Spice raises her razor to slice at Sarah. Sam finally frees himself from underneath the desk and throws himself on top of Sarah just as Sugar and Spice herself goes up in flames and reappears in the painting behind them. Dean calls Sam to check that they're okay. Metal Teeth Chomp.

Commercials. Back at the auction house, Dean comes in with some county records about how the little girl had been put up for adoption because her real family had been murdered in their sleep. Sarah instructs the men boxing up the painting to take it out back and burn it. Sam blah blah blahs about the girl's dark and tortured spirit until Dean interrupts to say who cares, it's over, time to move on. Bravo, my friend! Awkward realization that the brothers are leaving, and Sarah and Sam sort of shuffle their feet and wait for Dean to leave. Which he does, begrudgingly, muttering as he goes, "I'm the one that destroyed the spirit, don't thank me or anything." Hee. More emo navel-gazing between Sam and Sarah, and one last-gasp effort on her part to get laid, as she notes that she didn't get hurt so Sam maybe isn't cursed, and should come back to see her. Sam leaves. Sarah does the door-leaning and sighing of the sexually rejected, until she hears a knock at the door, opens it, and finds Sam there coming at her with one scary-ass fish-gasp of a kissy mouth. Dean looks on in approval: "That's my boy." Maybe next week he'll take his "boy" to Thailand to make him a man? Just, gross. Sam and Sarah continue sucking face until we fade to credits.

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