Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 1 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys and the Art of Getting Laid

The brothers locate the items from the Telesca house, immediately gravitating to the painting, which rests just below a wrought spiral staircase. As they stare, gape-mouthed, a voice asks, "A fine example of American primitive, wouldn't you say?" The voice belongs to a very pretty woman, dressed in a black cocktail dress. Requisite shot of Dean doing Wile E. Coyote bug eyes about her prettiness. Sam responds (rather nonsensically, as the art historians in the forum have noted), "I'd say, more Grant Wood than Grandma Moses." Cram it, Clement Greenberg. The girl is charmed, though, and Sam realizes she was just testing him on whether he'd take the "American primitive" bait. She apologizes and introduces herself as Sarah Blake. Sam returns the introduction, Dean continues with the mini quiche glomming. I'm beginning to think that maybe his encounter last night was a little less successful than he'd like us to believe, what with all this quiche compensation.

Sam asks her about the Telesca estate, and Sarah beatifically beams up at him as if she were an angel sent from heaven. What? Have you ever seen a woman sparkle this much? It's sort of sending me over the edge. She tells Sam that she thinks trying to sell their things this soon after the murder is creepy, but her father says that "sensationalism brings in the crowds." Sam and Sarah spend some time goofily staring at one another while Dean looks on quizzically. Just as Sam starts to go somewhere with this conversation, asking to "see the provenances," Sarah's father comes up and tells them he knows they aren't on the guest list and they need to beat it. Dean pulls himself up straight and retorts in a clipped, somewhat British accent, "Well! We don't have to be told twice!" to which Blake tartly responds, "Apparently you do." Tally-ho, my good chaps! No need to get your crumpets in a lift! The boys take their leave, but not before Sam and Sarah do some more googly eyes.

Outside a motel, the boys lug their stuff out of the car and toward their room. Dean asks Sam what he was talking about with all that "Grant Wood" and "Grandma Moses" stuff, and Sam begins redeeming himself from that whole "newspaper in a bar" thing by showing the he knows what all straight boys should: "Art history course. It was good for meeting girls." And also for brushing up on Art Deco ceramics. You never do know when you'll stumble upon a cute antique shop in Provincetown. Dean finally gets the door to the motel room open and...cue really low-budget "disco" music while we get a shot of a black and silver "Do Not Disturb" tag featuring an outline of a dude doing the Saturday Night Fever move hanging on the knob. We swing around and get a panorama of a room done all in black and white graphic wallpaper and silver-coated dressers and white padded headboards and it looks like the nightclub Tony Montana is hanging out in right before Robert Loggia sends some toughs to try and take him out with a coupla Uzis. (Heh. "Robert Loggia." Just try saying that name out loud without laughing.) The music -- which I'm pretty sure they lifted from Frogger, it's so low-budget -- ends on a little drum machine riff, and the boys make appropriately wacky faces. As you do when you march to the beat of a drum machine.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP