So, you remember last week, right? When Our Intrepid Heroes stole that chunk of prehistoric clay from Richard Roman's goons in Wheeling, and Darling Sammy was all, "So, what do we do?" and Dashing El Deano was all, "Whatever we do, it needs to happen several thousand miles away from here!" Yeah, well, they make it all the way to South Chicago before they stop to chop open that chunk of prehistoric clay, because they're idiots. This stupid show.
Anyway, Our Intrepid Heroes' clay-cracking efforts call down a mighty, violent, continent-wide, angel-awakening, prophet-activating electrical storm from an unhappy Heaven, so the boys figure they're doing something right, and that seems to be confirmed when The Leviathan's chunk of prehistoric clay disgorges a stone tablet that's packed with a tight, tiny script neither of them can read. Fortunately, Sassy Demonette Meg phones them at that very moment from Castiel's funny farm in Northern Indiana to inform Sam and Dean that everybody's favorite fallen angel has snapped out of his coma. Unfortunately, My Sweet Baboo can't read the stone tablet's fussy script, either, as it was originally chiseled by Metatron back during the creation of Earth, and thus was never meant for mere angel eyes.
Good thing, then, that the prophet activated by that electrical storm shows up in his parents' stolen car to translate everything for Our Intrepid Heroes. This new prophet is a painful Asian stereotype originally hailing from suburban Michigan, and of course, he arrives with a little extra baggage of his own, this in the form of a pair of angels from Castiel's old garrison who've been tasked with whisking both the prophet and the Metatron tablet off to some remote location, where the prophet might reveal The Word Of God to them in private. Naturally, Our Intrepid Heroes take issue with this plan of action and, after Dashing El Deano activates a sneaky Angel-B-Gon sigil on one of the nuthouse walls, the boys plus Castiel plus Meg plus the prophet plus the Metatron tablet retire to the lush coastal rainforests of Montana's Rocky Mountain range to translate God's Word in peace. The temporarily thwarted angels eventually give chase and, after a brief showdown during which Meg magically smites one of them, the remaining angel reaches an amicable agreement with Sam and Dean, and the prophet soon informs them all that the tablet contains a predictably complicated set of instructions for killing every last Leviathan dead.
And just when things seem to be settling down quite nicely for everyone involved, one of Richard Roman's minions turns another couple of angels' innards into sticky black goo, and everything goes to hell all over again. This season is never going to end, is it?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Rattle, Rattle WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE THEN! Once upon a time, this episode happened. Then, a little later, this episode happened. Is everyone all caught up now? Excellent.
Rattle, Rattle STILL NOT GIVING A SHIT NOW! Tonight, the NOW! decides to vanish pretty quickly so we might linger in the blackness for a moment as the opening notes of one of Bach's Six Suites For Unaccompanied Cello reverberate across the soundtrack. When the camera finally does fade up, it lingers on a framed "Certificate Of Membership" to something called the "National Scholastic Society of American Secondary Schools," which has been issued to a certain "Kevin Tran" for his purported "achievements in Scholastic Excellence, Leadership, Service & Character," so at least they've been nice enough to provide us with a name for the young gentleman we're about to meet straight off the bat, instead of making us wait fifteen or twenty minutes like they usually do. I'm especially grateful for this, because "Kevin" is a hell of a lot easier on the fingers than "Vaguely Insulting Overachieving Asian-American Stereotype: Male Version," which is what I was going to have to call him had they not been so kind as to provide that helpful little framed certificate. In any event, after lingering on that initial piece of paper for a moment, the camera slides across several other framed proofs of this young man's achievements in various adolescent endeavors, including a couple announcing his placement on Lincoln High's "HONOUR ROLL," which is an odd way for a school in "Neighbor, Michigan," to spell that particular word, but whatever. And just as the camera reaches Kevin himself to focus in on his face as he concentrates intently on his bowing and fingering and whatnot while practicing the abovementioned piece, we cross-fade over to...
...the interior of a night-darkened and abandoned warehouse in "South Chicago, Illinois," to watch as Our Intrepid Heroes set up shop. And yes, I realize this was the very first thing I bitched about in the recaplet for this episode, but really, guys? Richard Roman and his teeming hordes of Leviathanically-enhanced underlings have basically taken over Mount Prospect, and you decide to crack open that priceless and likely deadly artifact you just stole from them only a couple miles away from them down the Kennedy? Morons.
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