Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: D+ | 4 USERS: D+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Get Some

Driving down the road, Sam and Dean have a semi-gross brotherly conversation. Sam: "By 'old friend' you mean...?" What, Sam? Do you want him to say "fuck buddy"? Dean won't take Sam's gross bait, though, laconically noting just that he and this Cassie girl "went out." Sam continues to have his face in the gutter: "You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?" God, quit thinking about your brother doing chicks, man! Dean finally explains: "Dad and I were working a job in Athens, Ohio, she was finishing up college, we went out for a little while." I think that counts as pretty natural exposition there. Sam then wonders about Cassie's father's death being more than "a standard car accident. I'm not seeing how it fits with how we do. Which, by the way, how does she know what we do?" Dean doesn't respond with anything more than pursed lips, until Sam exclaims, "You told her. You told her? Our big family secret, rule number one, we do what we do and then we shut up about it." Sheesh, that rule is quite a mouthful. Can you imagine how much less compelling Fight Club would have been with that crap? "First rule about Fight Club: We do what we do and then we shut up about it. Second rule about Fight Club: We do what we do and then we shut up about it." Anyhow, it's been well remarked on in the forums that there is no big Rule Number One for the Winchester family other than a loose "keep things quiet so people don't throw us in the looney bin." So who knows why Sam's panties are in such a twist. Sam continues, "For a year and a half I lie to Jess and you go out with this chick from Ohio and tell her everything." Hee. "This chick from Ohio."

Cut to exterior of a building on an old-timey town square. Inside a group of three people -- a black man, a white man, and a black woman wearing far too form-fitting of a blazer for Cape Girardeau -- are having a debate over what the newspaper will and will not print. Whitey seems to be telling the other two what to do. This couldn't be Cassie, here, could it? She of the father not yet in his grave? This woman here, this Hollywood version of a small-town newspaperwoman? Definitely not Cassie, right? Oops! Whitey proves me wrong: "I know you're upset, Cassie. I liked your dad a lot. But I think your grief has clouded your judgment." Grief? Since when has grief worn tweed, tight denim, and, dare I say, EYE MAKE-UP? Slightly Less Friendly Black Man tells Whitey, "Two black people were killed on the same stretch of road in the same way in three weeks" as Dean and Sam walk in the office. Whitey won't budge from his position, which is…? What? We have no idea. This whole newspaper subplot is completely useless, the love handles on the flabby writing of this episode. Cassie turns and sees Dean and expresses her surprise by looking pretty. Olive Garden strings of cross-cultural love play in the background as they greet one another. Dean introduces Sam and gives his condolences. Dean says, "I'm sorry about your dad," and she responds, "Yeah, me too." "Yeah, me too"?! Your father was killed under mysterious circumstances and that's what you say?Cut to an old farmhouse with a pressing need for a few seventy-five watt bulbs inside. Cassie walks in carrying a tea tray and telling the boys that she's staying with her mother because the latter is in bad shape. And I was about to congratulate someone on covering the ass of a "this house on a Cape Girardeau newspaper reporter salary?" complaint, but I wonder, since when does explaining away flaws in a script make up for having those flaws there in the first place? Cassie tells the brother that her father had been "seeing things" before he died. She mentions the "awful-looking truck," which makes Sam perk up for no discernible reason, and no later discernible reason either since he doesn't have any idea what in the sweet hell is going on in this episode. Cassie proceeds to explain to the brothers what we just saw two minutes before, that her father's car was dented, and I wonder why we have to hear it again like this. She talks about "that night" as if it were MORE THAN ONE OR TWO NIGHTS AGO. Then she explains that "there was a distinct set of muddy tracks from Dad's car leading right" -- points chin down, furrows her brow, and lets her voice catch a little bit -- "to the edge where he went over." Fucking bravo, woman. Who would've thought to let one's voice catch when recounting the circumstances of one's father's death. Get James Lipton on the horn! They continue talking even though I beg them to stop, going on and on about how the other person who was killed was killed in the same way (we already knew that) and that the cops aren't paying attention to the dicey circumstances (we already knew that, too).

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