Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 73 USERS: A
Deviled Red Herring

The moment Naomi is gone, Dean returns to his phone. Alas, Kevin can't tell from what he's translated whether or not Naomi is lying. Castiel's like, "Of course she's lying!" But Dean can't risk it. "Take me to him, now!"

At the church, Sam utters that "Red Integra" chant over Crowley's shivering form. As Sam slices into his hand for the final part of the ritual, his palm begins to glow.

Outside, Castiel has just delivered Dean to the church's front steps. Why not take him inside? Is it one of those first date things? "Dean, I'm not wrong," he calls out. "I'm going to fix my home." He flits off before Dean can talk some sense into him.

By now, both of Sam's arms are glowing like an aurora cocktail. Just before he can slap his hand over Crowley's kisser, Dean barges into the church. "Sammy! Stop!" Sam makes a face like a puppy who's just been caught squatting on the carpet.

Castiel returns to Heaven to find Naomi slumped over her desk in a pool of her own blood. At least she died as she lived: bureaucratically. As Castiel peers over her body, he sees the drilled jammed into the back of her head. "She told you I lied, didn't she?" asks Metatron, slipping the tip of an All-Purpose Angel Sword beneath his chin. "You should have listened to the bitch." Sometimes I cringe at the show's casual use of certain words. Sometimes, so does Misha Collins.

Meanwhile, back at the church, Dean tells Sam there's been a slight change of plans. "Metatron lied. If you finish this trial, you're dead, Sam." Maybe there was a scene cut out of this, or maybe we're just supposed to assume these conversations happened in some off-screen version of the show, but Metatron never guaranteed Sam's life in any scene we saw. In fact, hasn't it seemed like the Winchesters have been kind of working on the assumption that closing the Gates of Hell required one of them to die? Isn't that why Dean volunteered to throw himself onto that particular pyre? Isn't that why we had to sit through Dean learning from Charlie about letting go of loved ones? Rapidly Decaying Sammy looks all around in a panic, then duhs: "So?"

Before long, Metatron has Castiel in Naomi's old torture chair. "You promise," Castiel gruffs at him, struggling against the shackles. Metatron shoves Castiel's head back and says Heaven doesn't concern him anymore. He draws the tip of the All-Purpose Angel Sword against Castiel's stubbly throat, letting out a bit of blood and a dribble of purplish light. Cast gags and gasps for breath. "These were never trials," Metatron says. "This is a spell." He holds a tiny glass vial up to Castiel's throat and extracts the light. "What I'm taking from you now -- your essence, your grace -- is the last piece." Metatron wipes his hand over the wound, healing all external trace of it. "And now something wonderful is going to happen," Metatron says. "I want you to live this new life to the fullest. Find a wife, make babies! And when you die and your soul comes to Heaven, find me and tell me your story." Since when do angels have souls? Did Metatron slip one in there while nobody was looking? He places a hand on Castiel's worried brow and sends him into the light.

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