And speaking of Sam, there he is now, getting brained by Batshit Becky with Dean's non-stick waffle iron! Wah. Wah. Waaaaaaah!
After we pass through this evening's second CHOMP!-less commercial break, the camera fades up on the façade of a cozy little Swedish-style log cabin whose front entrance is flanked by a pair of enviable hydrangeas. And you know an episode has got to suck when I'm gushing about the fucking topiary. Inside, Batshit Becky's gone all Misery on Darling Sammy's tantalizing ass. Well, not so much with the sledgehammer bit -- which would have made this scene interesting, and God knows we can't be having any of that tonight -- and more with the simple lashing-him-to-the-bed stuff, the better to preserve whatever sympathy the rapidly dwindling audience might still harbor for Batshit Becky and her wacky, wacky ways. Incidentally, how did tiny little Becky manage to lug the unconscious Ginormotron out of her apartment, into her car, up to this secluded little cabin, and into this secluded little cabin's bed all by her lonesome? Hmmm? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Excellent point, my scaly friend. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" So, I guess we'll be moving this along, then? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Perfect.
Becky's Skype, uh, rings, or whatever the hell Skype does, and it's Gay Guy, and as Darling Sammy eavesdrops from the bedroom, Batshit Becky confesses she's dragged Sam up to her parents' cabin in the woods because Gay Guy's magical elixir wore off, and she didn't know what else to do. She also admits that she and Sam have yet to consummate their annoying marriage, for whatever that's worth, and Gay Guy instructs her to meet him in an hour, at which point he'll presumably have more of that magical elixir ready and waiting for her. They hang up on each other, and an argument instantly erupts between an outraged Sam and his certifiably insane and increasingly desperate bride, and long story short, when Sam's mouthy accusations get to be a little too much for Becky's fragile ego to handle, she shoves a tea towel into his mouth and bolts for her meeting with Gay Guy. Are we done here? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Good.