Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 1 USERS: C+
The Hardy Boys Are Daddy's Boys

A woman lets Sam and Dean into Tuffy's apartment, saying that the police claimed to be finished with the place. There's blood spattered all over the carpet and floors, and the landlady exposits, "You guys said you're with the alarm company? No offense, but your alarm's about as useful as boobs on a man." Groan. Kripke birthed that joke with forceps. They tell her they want to check out what happened to make sure it never happens again -- like a silly alarm could ever stop something as stealthy as the "Stealth Killer" -- and then ask about how she found Tuffy. The landlady tells them that there was no sign of struggle, and that she found Tuffy "all over. In pieces...if I didn't know any better, I'd a said a wild animal did it." This information causes the boys to suddenly get very interested. I'm wondering why the excessive blood all over the place didn't indicate to them that perhaps Tuffy was killed in a particularly animalistic fashion. But I guess they must be expending so many calories and bodily energy just on being so damn hot that they don't have much to spare for deductive reasoning. Thus the constant need for people to verbalize every situation back to them. Sam asks if they can have some extra time to check things out to get the landlady out of there.

Gadgetry unsheathed. Far less interesting than that sounds, though. Sam asks if Dean talked to any cops about the murder. Dean says yes, to "Amy, a charming, perky officer of the law." Again, not really consistent with the Chicago city servants I know so dearly. Sam asks what Amy told Dean, and then we cut to Dean, who's stopped in his tracks and is now looking off into the middle distance thinking about Amy: "She's a Sagittarius. She loves tequila, I mean, whoo, oh, she's got this little tattoo --" Sam snaps at him, "Dean!" and then asks if he found out anything having to do with Tuffy's murder. Dean says no, letting Sam get up for a second on the high horse he's named Girls Have Cooties. Then Dean rides up right next to him on his own frothing black stallion: "Nothing we already didn't know," pause, pause, except that Tuffy's heart was missing. Burn."Brain"-storming. Can't be a werewolf, the "moon cycle's not right." Insert your own menstrual-cycle joke here, please. Can't be a creature, because it left no trace. Must be a spirit. Dean wants masking tape, which he then uses to connect the blood dots. My niece's birthday is coming up, and I was wondering what to get her. I think maybe a Connect the Blood Dots Craft Kit will be just perfect! Sam stands over Dean with his arms crossed, and the angelic choir breaks into some really raucous Mendelssohn. Dean stands up, and they both look down at some kind of symbol created by the blood and tape. The symbol looks sort of like a daddy long-legs spider after having its legs plucked out by a tweezer-wielding, rat-tailed kid in a dusty front yard dotted with rusting machinery. Or something.

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