Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 1 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Get Molested

The Admittedly Pointless Wine Cellar Of My Endless Despair And BOREDOM And DOOM And Jesus Christ, Will They Not...oh, wait a minute. I think this bit's actually important. "Can I ask you a question?" Dean begins, clearly intending to proceed with said question regardless of her response. Fortunately for amity's sake, she easily replies, "I'm an open book!" Unsought permission thus granted, Dean continues, "So, the [Damned Door To Hell] opened, the demon army was let out -- what now, huh? I'm not seeing a big, honking plan, here." "There was a plan," she assures him. "Azazel was a tyrant," she reveals, "but he held us all together." Dean repeats the demon's name with a quizzically cocked eyebrow, so Demonic Casey smirks, "What, you think his friends just called him 'Yellow Eyes'?" "He had a name," she nods, "but after you did him in, it all fell apart." Presumably, she's referring just to his plan and his hold over Hell's minions with that last bit, though I suppose there could be some infernal subset of demonology that claims a demon's name metaphysically disintegrates upon the demon's death. Perhaps I shall ask the delightfully mouthy gang on the boards for its opinion on the matter. Until that happens, though, let's continue with the scene, shall we? "So, what?" Dean wonders. "No chain of command?" "There was," Demonic Casey breathes, pausing a moment before dropping the expected bomb. "It was Sam." Dun-dun-DUN! "Zzzzzz...what?! What did I miss this time!?" Sam was supposed to lead The Ceiling Demon's armies. "Oh, for Heaven's sake, WE KNOW THAT ALREADY! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" Demonic Casey, ignoring Raoul completely because she is an imaginary demonic character on the TV and he is an imaginary gay dragon in my living room, continues, "Sam was supposed to be the grand poobah and lead the big army, but he hasn't exactly stepped up to the plate, has he?" Didn't Dean already hear this crap from Sam himself? I'm so confused. Dean, for his part, is shocked and appalled, likely because he, too, thought he was already privy to this information and is currently wondering why he's supposed to be shocked and appalled now that he's hearing it from a demon he's never seen before and shall never see again after Darling Sammy plugs her full of holes. Ooops. Spoiler!

Anyway, where the hell was I? Oh, yeah: Demonic Casey evaluates Dean's scattered response to all this for a moment, then shakes her head with, "You think this is a good thing? Now you've got chaos! A war without a front! Hundreds of demons, all jockeying for power, all fighting for the crown -- most gunning for your brother!" So, you know. Iraq. And how many conservative types worked themselves into a fury over that forgettable Cheney remark I didn't even bother to transcribe? Go figure. In any event, Demonic Casey admits, "For the record? I was ready to follow Sam." And she almost sounds like she means it, too. Oh, who am I kidding? Have you seen those shoulders of his? Of course she means it.

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